“Don’t Make Yourself at Home”

Film: You, Me and Dupree
Cast: Owen Wilson, Matt Dillon, Kate Hudson
Director: Anthony and Joe Russo

We are the most hospitable nation on the planet, or so we like to think. But how long can our hospitality stretch? What if an uninvited guest comes to stay and doesn’t leave? How much can we adjust, even for our best friend?

Carl (Dillon) and Molly (Hudson) have just finished saying their wedding vows when Carl’s best friend Dupree (Wilson) gets kicked out of his job, house and car. They have to take him in and the marriage is off on the wrong note. Sure Dupree has a heart of gold, but he is also a bit too much, to say too little. "Make yourself at home" turn out to be the biggest mistake Carl ever said.

You, Me and Dupree has only a few flaws. In fact, I could find out only four: Ridiculous storyline, unimaginative screenplay, shoddy editing, non-existent direction. Owen Wilson has never been accused of being anything but over the top. He doesn’t disgrace his billing. Matt Dillon is there only for the money, and it shows. What Michael Douglas is doing in such a role is anyone’s guess. The only bright spot is the radiant Kate Hudson. Unfortunately she continues on her long list of bad career choices.

You, Me and Dupree is an acquaintance you neither want to visit nor invite unless you are desperate. Trust me, no one will find you inhospitable if you stay away.

Derailed is on Track, Unfortunately

Film: Derailed
Cast: Clive Owen, Jennifer Aniston, Vincent Cassel
Director: Mikael Håfström

I like Clive Owen. He has a raw intensity about him. His looks are edgy, unlike your average movie star. A slightly derailed persona, if there ever was one. From Owen you expect a performance, and a film, that is at least a bit out of the ordinary. Derailed, however, disappoints.

The story of a man who has a casual affair and pays for it bitterly when he is blackmailed repeatedly has been oft told. So if you are going to do it again, you need to have something new. Director Mikael Håfström does not have any.

Charles Shine (Owen) is a commercial executive. He has a normal (which means loveless) marriage. Charles commutes by train to work everyday. He has one of these chance encounters (which happen only in movies) with Lucinda (Aniston). The two hit off and soon it is time to consummate the affair. They choose a dingy little hotel. Our accidental lovers are interrupted in the act by a thug, LaRouche (Cassell), who assaults them and decamps with their money. Soon the blackmailing begins, and in no time it turns ugly.

You wish Derailed would get derailed and do something out of the ordinary. But no, it follows the same monotonous track. Within half an hour you have already guessed the ending. The climax is too rushed and the holes in the plot are far too many. Håfström's direction follows predictable lines.

Clive Owen sleepwalks through a role that is clearly not meant for him. Jennifer Aniston is no great shakes as an actress and she doesn’t prove us wrong. Vincent Cassell, who was so good in Ocean’s Twelve, has tried his best for a character that is terribly underdeveloped.

Derailed is terribly ordinary. And that is as big an insult as I can thing off. If you are feeling thoroughly bored and couldn’t care how you spend your money, you could take a look. I wouldn’t.

Pheonix, Thy Name is Scorcese

Film: The Departed
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Jack Nicholson, Mark Wahlberg
Director: Martin Scorcese

Rats, rats everywhere
Not one to be found

Never in recent memory has this lowly rodent been the toast of a Hollywood movie. We are talking about two-legged variety. The snitch, the mole, whatever you may call it. And in The Departed, they rule the roost. And when the ship starts to sink, they have nowhere to desert but go down.

The Departed is a roller coaster ride through the mean streets of Boston where cops and criminals play a dangerous game of one-upmanship. This is an age where innocence was not lost, it never was there.

The raging bull lording over the gangs of Boston is Frank Costello (Nicholson). The good fellows in the police department hatch up an ingenious plan wherein they infiltrate Costello’s ranks with an undercover agent Costigan (DiCaprio). Unfortunately for them, Costello has also put his man Sullivan (Damon) in the police. In true pulp style they both fall for the same girl Madolyn (Vera Farmiga). Who becomes the bigger superstar?

Leonardo DiCaprio is Jack Dawson no more. The pretty boy can act and he has no better teacher. Matt Damon is a perfect foil. Mark Wahlberg has his best role yet, while Alec Baldwin is hilarious. The actor in Jack Nicholson is often overshadowed by the larger-than-life persona of Jack. Here for most part the actor makes his presence felt. However, Jack is always lurking around.

Martin Scorcese has risen from the ashes. He has left his quest for that elusive Oscar aside and gone back to doing what he does better than most -- crime drama. At the end of the year comes one of its most enjoyable films. Pulp it may be, but what pulp. Take a bow, Marty!

Perfectly Good Way to Ruin Your Day

Film: Date Movie

Cast: Allyson Hannigan, Adam Campbell, Tony Cox

Director: Aaron Seltzer

What is a date movie? It is one of those things you do with your girlfriend if your intentions are slightly less than honourable? Going together to attend a Celine Dion concert, browsing bookshops for Nora Roberts’ titles, shop hopping in Commercial Street, all of the things you wouldn’t be caught dead doing otherwise. But now you consider them as mere obstacles to be overcome to achieve your goal. Similar motion picture obstacles (usually the so-called chick flicks or extra-syrupy romances) constitute date movies.

Date Movie, however, is not a date movie; it is a spoof. A spoof is one of the less illustrious, but still quite entertaining, genres of films. If made well, they can be riotous like the Hot Shots and Naked Gun series. On the other hand they can also be tedious like the Scary Movie quartet.

We begin with Julia Jones (Hannigan) and her intimate diary. Julia works at her family’s Greek diner. Her father is Greek (he is also Jewish and Black), her mother is Indian, her sister is Japanese and Julia is blonde. She is also fat, which is a hindrance to her romantic aspirations. She meets a date doctor, Hitch (Cox), who helps her undergo an ugly duckling-like transformation. The new Julia meets the handsome Grant Funkyerdoder (Campbell). Sparks fly like fireflies. Soon it’s time to meet the Funkyerdoders.

Date Movie is disgusting. It is an attempt to elicit laughs by whatever means and it is a failed attempt before ten minutes are over. The script is shoddy, the dialogues pedestrian, the situations ridiculous in a negative way and the acting terrible. The humour is not fit for a toilet and the requisite toilet humour is below the septic tank. Director Aaron Seltzer cannot claim sole credit for this atrocity of a film. Everyone has a share of the blame. It is a team movie of the worst kind.

If you take your date to Date Movie, not only will you not be getting what you set out to, you will also be spending the next few days being extremely lonely. On the other hand if your date liked the movie, I suggest you search for greener pastures, unless you liked it too. In which case both you and I are better off with you not reading this.

Behind the Hype an Ordinary Movie

Film: The Da Vinci Code
Cast: Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou, Ian McKellen, Paul Bettany
Director: Ron Howard

If one were to take a poll on what drives people forward, the front-runners may be money, religion and sex. The dark horse will be conspiracy theories. Don’t we love believing that we don’t know many a thing because someone somewhere is covering it up?

Dan Brown rode on his imagination and the so-called "biggest cover-up of all time" to make The Da Vinci Code one of popular publishing’s major milestones. When Tom Hanks and Ron Howard signed on, the silver screen version became the most awaited film of 2006. Then the Hollywood hype factory took over. The Catholic Church was in no mood to give any more publicity to the book or the film by asking for an outright ban. But many of its followers worldwide were not so smart. The controversy raged, the publicity got wider and the studio bigwigs rubbed their green hands in glee.

Here’s a cryptic summary. Robert Langdon (Hanks), a Harvard professor of Symbology is asked to help solve the strange clues found at a murder scene. Police officer Sophie (Tautou) warns him of a bigger conspiracy. The two hit the road, solving one crazy puzzle after other. Side players include the Catholic Church, the ancient organisation Priory of Sion, the secretive Opus Dei, the Holy Grail, the mortality of Jesus Christ, and, towering over them all, the genius of Leonardo da Vinci.

Tom Hanks looks and acts bored. Reluctant auditioner Audrey Tautou is still not convinced that she should be Sophie. The talent of Jean Reno and the looks of Paul Bettany are wasted. Ian McKellen is delightful, thank God for small mercies.
Ron Howard has tried to keep close to the book while keeping the cinematic needs in mind. Hans Zimmer’s music is apt.

At its Cannes premiere, the film was greeted with derisive hoots and catcalls. There were catcalls and whistles when I saw it on Friday, too. But these were more confused than derisive. Many people felt they were being part of some kind of cinematic history. The Da Vinci Code is nothing of the sort. It is just a Hollywood summer movie, a murder mystery. But the hint of conspiracy and the overpowering hype just makes people more curious. In a couple of weeks the hysteria would have died out. But, by then, the studio would have made enough money to make Angels and Demons. And they will take our money again. How is that for a conspiracy theory?

Adam Sandler Plugged

Film: Click
Cast: Adam Sandler, Christopher Walken, Kate Beckinsale, David Hasselhoff
Director: Frank Coraci

There is a popular misconception that when someone talks about having seen a satiating movie, he is talking about a porn flick. Not true. (At least, not all the time!) Any movie that has made you identify with its character has satiated you. What if the character is a loser? (As most of us are, when compared to on-screen heroes.) Then he gets a push that takes him to the next level. That ‘push’ is the crux of Click.

Architect Michael Newman (Sandler) has no time for his wife Donna (Beckinsale) and his kids because he has to be at the beck and call of his boss Jack (Hasselhoff). Once while searching for a universal remote to operate all the appliances at home, Michael comes across Morty (Walken), an eccentric inventor, who gives him one for free. Just one condition: He cannot return it back.

Michael finds out the remote is far more universal than he expected. It was a remote to life. It had several advantages. He could do a slow motion retake on the voluptuous jogger, reduce the volume of his dog’s barking, pause his boss and then slap him, fast forward foreplay and other boring stuff. There were also disadvantages, which he found to his dismay.

Like other Adam Sandler movies, Click, too, is packaged as a comedy. There are still attempts to poke fun at bodily functions, dirty humour and other Sandlerisms. Unfortunately, they are not funny. This is a sanitised Sandler. One who tries to appeal to a larger family audience, while keeping his fan base intact. He ends up alienating both. Kate Beckinsale has little to do but look nice. The part of Morty was so obviously written with Christopher Walken in mind, but even he can’t bring a spark to these proceedings.

Much has been written about Click having a surreal, philosophical side to it, with oodles of black humour. Balderdash! To make people believe in such an outrageous concept you need outrageous explanations. Click is nothing but run of the mill. As for the remote, it would be a handy toy to have around, without the disadvantages, of course.

About That Humble Pie...

Disappointing. That's my one-word for this year's Oscars. Disappointing not just because of my dismal showing with regards to the prediction sweepstakes, but also because of short supply in humour despite the high-profile hosts, thorough lack of continuity and coherence in the proceedings, dearth of Wow! and WTF moments, and, as I found today, Farrah Fawcett missing from the In Memoriam montages. Now that I re-read the above, disappointing seems too mild a word.

Let's begin with my predictions. It was Hurt Locker's year, not Avatar's. I backed the wrong horse. And that swap meant four misses (Best Picture, Editing, Sound Mixing and Sound Editing). What remained was Cinematography, Art Direction and Visual Effects. The docs and shorts netted me only one out of four (The Cove) and that was because it was the most in-news. Music By Prudence provided the Oscars with its mini 'Kanye moment', as they are calling it. Too bad no one realised it until after they read about it. Due to their relative anonymity these awards are usually based on chance. I lucked out last year, was out of luck this year.

The foreign film category surprised for the second year running. No White Ribbon, no Prophet, not even Ajami. But an Argentine film no one has heard of. I am sure quite a few people were playing Inky-Pinky-Ponky.

There were four absolute locks: Up for Animated Pic, Avatar for Visual Effects, Christoph and Monique for Supporting Roles. I got those right. Yeah, so did almost everybody else.

Michael Giacchino (Up), Ryan Bingham and T-Bone Burnett (A Crazy Heart) heard the music they wanted to. Zachary Quinto's natural facial contortions won Makeup for Star Trek, while The Young Victoria was the only one in any contention for Costume Design. Don't believe me? Check out the last five winners. The Duchess, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Mary Antoinette, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Aviator.

Enough has been said about designer Sandy Powell's alleged arrogant speech. Rubbish by the cartload. Hers was the best acceptance speech of the night. She did say, "I already have two of these, but I am feeling greedy." You find that arrogant, not funny? Define funny. But her dedication was sharp, biting and truthful. "To the costume designers that don't do movies about dead monarchs or glittery musicals... don't get as recognised as they should, but work as hard." She ended with "this is for you, but I am going to take it home tonight." How arrogant.

The Dude went up as expected and delivered a funny, honest and disarming speech. Next contest, how many "man"s were there in that speech. Sandra Bullock won. Damn. But to her credit, she was hilarious yet poignant. Plus she had the guts to go and collect a Razzie just the previous night for All About Steve. She rocked. But I still would have polled Meryl Streep.

The Hurt Locker trumped Inglourious Basterds for Original Screenplay, as I said, but Precious came up over the air in the Adapted section. That was a surprise. By the time Katheryn Bigelow went up for Best Director it was sure The Hurt Locker would pick up the big one too.

None of the "it will be very different" that was promised materialised. Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were not just not funny enough, they were not funny. The beginning monologue was done away with, but the duo-logue fell flat. As was the continuing Clooney looks. Neil Patrick Harris sang and I couldn't make out a word. The teen heartthrobs were mostly there, but kept messing their lines.

John Hughes is someone special. Especially so for many American teens in the eighties, whose angst he so truthfully depicted in his movies. Apparently. But giving him a separate section to commemorate his death was kind of like telling the others who are no more "you guys are not so special". The In Memoriam section missed out Farrah. And an Academy rep said it was intentional. Yeah right, how can you forget one of Charlie's Angels?

The Paranormal Activity footage of the hosts was unfunny. Ben Stiller was too strained. The horror montage made no sense. The introduction of the Best Picture nominees took double the time (I am a genius!). The dances for the nominated scores were pretty cool though.

Last year I liked the idea of five peers introducing the Acting nominees. This year all the intros were too flat, save Stanley Tucci's for Meryl Streep. One thing's it won't be there next year.

The networks say the viewership was best in five years. Wanna bet it's gonna come down next year? I never liked Billy Crystal that much. But he was the most comfortable one there. Will they get him back? What needs drastic improvement is the effort of the writers. If Ricky Gervais could fall at the Globes, not many have a chance. But as I always say, "Bring in Ryan Seacrest out of the red carpet and into the main hall."

But come what may I will be there in 2011. Something tells me I will fare far better. If you want to see me eat more of that humble pie, catch me in a year.

Betting on a Horse Called Oscar

Oscar prediction is a fun game. But it is also a game most people get wrong. Why? The answer is simple. People forget what they are doing. You are predicting who will take home the statue, not voting for who, you think, should win the award. Sorry, you are not that important. But you can transcend than un-importance by pretending to know how the majority of Academy members will vote, without ever seeing their ballots.

And you can do that. If only you don't let feelings come in the way. Academy voters (or the total count of votes) may throw up a surprise or two. But, on an average, they are anything but unpredictable. In this Internet Age, you just need to keep your eyes and ears open to read the signs. There are so many award shows that lead up to the little golden fella and they provide pointers, either to or away.

The Academicians (as opposed to academicians) are in the show business, which translates to glamour with a capital G. They allow themselves to be manipulated by the manifold media, who are themselves manipulated by the studio spinners, who in turn are manipulated by their own delusions about how much they can achieve. I haven't been able to complete a full circle there. And I can't. There is a missing link. And that is the fun in predicting. Not everything goes according to plan.

Last year I got 21 correct out of 24. I kid you not. I would have gotten 22, but some subconscious Mallu-ness prevented me from siding with a fellow Mallu. I don't anticipate an encore this year, but I still back myself. After all, if I got a doughnut every time I got one right that my fellow players didn't, I would have been the envy of Homer Simpson. Without any further ado, I present my predictions. Be sure to hold it against me if I fail miserably.

The Best Foreign Language Film is a toss-up between The White Ribbon and A Prophet. I am as much of a racist as the next guy, but that is more the white vs brown variety. Semitism or anti-Semitism doesn't affect me. But it is a fact that most Hollywood studios were set up and are still being run by Jews. And big shots in the different fields are Jews. Their way of proclaiming their heritage is by ensuring the Holocaust subjects never go out of fashion. And that is the reason I go along with The White Ribbon.

Burma VJ and The Cove are perfect outlets for the holier-than-thouness of the mostly American Academy. The Cove benefits from more publicity and it gets my vote for Best Documentary, Feature. "The untold story about wild rabbits that lived between the Berlin Walls." This premise itself (Królik po berlinsku) should win an Oscar. But I don't think the patriotic Academy can ignore anything titled China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province. That's a lock for Best Documentary, Short Subject.

In the Best Short Film, Animated category the new Wallace and Gromit is making the rounds. And familiarity counts for something in the lesser-known categories. But I'm instead going with French Toast. Just gut. Can't explain. Likewise, I believe the Indian summer will continue to this year with a statue for Kavi in Best Short Film, Live Action.

This is Avatar's year, make no mistake about it. We will discuss the big awards later. First let's clean up the technical awards. Beginning with Visual Effects, going on to Sound Mixing and Sound Editing and also sweeping up Editing, Art Direction and Cinematography. That's right, folks. I'm ignoring Hurt Locker's decibel-related claims and going native with the Na'vi.

Now that the major part of the elephant is out of the room, let's concentrate on the others stuff. Most of the "sweeps" usually pick up the gong for Original Music Score, also. This time, however, Michael Giacchino seems to be winning everything for Up. I will go with the flow. And there won't be anything tired about "The Weary Kind" (Crazy Heart) as it will pick up the Original Song Oscar.

Costume Design and Makeup rarely go hand in hand on Oscar night. But this time I'm sticking with the constant in both categories: The Young Victoria. Doesn't hurt that I'm bluntly partial towards Ms. Blunt! Heath Ledger's swansong will go home empty handed. (After all Ledger, Depp, Law and Farrell essentially wore the same costume! I know, I'm cruel.) And how can Star Trek get any makeup prices? No one would dare put any on the lovely Zoe and Zachary Quinto looks like a Vulcan anyway.

Writing is what distinguishes us from the writers. Up in the Air will win its only award for Best Adapted Screenplay. And that will not make it any less fine a movie than it is. The Original Screenplay is a two-horse race, but the 'Basterd' Tarantino will be second-best to Hurt Locker and Mark Boal.

We now come to the showmen and women. Christoph Waltz and Monique would be the only nominees in the Supporting categories who would have made a speech. Remember Forest Whitaker in Last King of Scotland. It's that kind of a lead that they have over the rest of also-rans.

And here are the Leading categories. Morgan Freeman playing Nelson Mandela. A no-brainer, right? And in a Clint Eastwood film? Why are there other nominees? But somehow, Invictus never struck a chord. As a result Jeff Bridges will get his due for his overall coolness over the years. All of us Dudes will abide by that. The best Actress is where I go, in many eyes, from predicting to hoping. Sandra Bullock would have blindsided a lot of people, but I still think she hasn't got the bollocks to beat Our Lady of Accents in Julie and Julia. Meryl Steep will prevail. Or I hope so.

The King of All Worlds in a recent interview uttered something that was nothing short of blasphemy. He said Kathryn Bigelow should win the Best Director and Avatar should win Best Picture. There goes Avatar's chances, everyone said. However, don't think it is that far-fetched. In fact, I believe that is exactly how it will unfold. And everyone will be happy. Just watch and see.

I will be back after the awards are announced on Sunday night. We'll then discuss how much humble pie I should eat. In the meantime, Happy Predicting, Folks. And then let's all, as Mr 12,775 Warren Beatty himself famously said, watch them congratulate themselves.

Casanova, Castrated

Film: Casanova
Cast: Heath Ledger, Sienna Miller, Jeremy Irons, Oliver Platt, Lena Olin
Director: Lasse Hallstrom

When a city theatre had a special screening of Casanova on International Women’s Day, I found it strange that no one raised a voice against it. After all, this was arguably the most chauvinistic of male characters ever, and such a film apparently would be against everything Women’s Day stood for. Then I saw the film.

We are transported to 16th century Venice where that most famous seducer of women, Casanova (Ledger), is on the loose. And where do we find him in action first? A nunnery, no less. He flees after official Inquisitors of the Church arrive to arrest him for immorality and heresy. Casanova ends up in the University where a debate is happening and meets Francesca Bruni (Miller), and it’s love at first sight for him.

Francesca is a woman with progressive ideas that would cause a ripple even in this century, so it can be assumed how out of place she was then. At the same time she was about to obey her dead father’s wishes and marry a rich merchant, Paprizzio (Platt), a man she had never met, to save her family from falling deeper into debt. It is at this juncture that Casanova enters the picture to play a game of mistaken identities. At the same time the Catholic Church’s most famous Inquisitor, Bishop Pucci (Irons), arrives in Venice to arrest Casanova and restore moral values.

Casanova the man could have been an impotent barber for all we care. But for Casanova the legend, restricting himself to one woman was as much an anathema as God is to an atheist. And if you want to tarnish that image by portraying him as a monogamist, you better have the license of an extremely good story behind you. Jeffrey Hatcher and Kimberly Sini do not have. As a result their script seems more suited for pre-pubescent girls than an adult audience.

Heath Ledger is very likeable, even though he doesn’t have that naughtiness one might expect. I want to see more of Sienna Miller. She has very earthy looks and can act a bit. Veterans Oliver Platt and Lena Olin revel in their roles. The surprise package is Jeremy Irons who is a delight with his outrageous costumes and great comic timing.

Lasse Hallstrom has given us a picture that is good to look at. The sets are wonderful, and so are the costumes. This could have been a rarity, a good period comedy. But the script goes from bad to worse and ends in a rotten climax. After seeing Casanova one thing became clear. With its hackneyed plot and mind-numbing climax this film is an insult not just to women but even men. No wonder there were no voices on Women’s Day. Why give more publicity when none is due?

Love and Longing on Brokeback Mountain

Film: Brokeback Mountain
Cast: Heath Ledger, Jake Gyllenhaal, Anne Hathaway,
Director: Ang Lee

"What a waste of good testosterone!" was how a female friend retorted when I told her, long ago, that Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal were acting as gay cowboys in an Ang Lee film. She was not alone. Disbelief was the most common reaction when Lee brought out his movie. You do not mess around with ‘cowboyhood’. That is the epitome of masculinity, the Mount Everest as far as maleness goes.

After the colossal disaster that was Hulk, Ang Lee needed to redeem himself. He found the perfect vehicle in a short story by Annie Proulx about two young cowboys who have an affair while tending sheep on Brokeback Mountain and how that turned to a deeper love and a longing that affected their lives for the next 20 years. Novelist Larry McMurtry and his writing partner Diana Ossana adapted the story beautifully, Gustavo Santaolalla composed a lilting score and Lee was on his way.

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal have turned in really fine performances as the two lovers. In roles that asked for an extraordinary amount of maturity, the twosome have stood up and asked to be counted. The only minor flaw is that the makeup department couldn’t effectively show Ledger as an older man. He has too boyish a face to convince us he has a grownup daughter. Anne Hathaway says goodbye to her sweet princess image and Michelle Williams is a class apart as a troubled wife. The support cast is one of the best assembled in recent times, in terms of performances, not names.

Brokeback Mountain is a very well-made film. Lee begins slowly, letting us soak in the characters. The lack of pace is compensated by some awesome cinematography. We indulge in some spectacular shots of the two cowboys tending hundreds of sheep on the slopes of a beautiful mountain. The two carry out their seemingly innocuous tasks day after day. But you can feel it that this is an explosion ready to go off at the slightest provocation. And when it happens you marvel at the sensitivity of the director. Even the uneasy sniggers of the idiots behind cannot distract you.

Ang Lee has managed to get the best out of everyone of his cast and crew. Be it Roberta Maxwell who plays Jake’s mother and is on screen for not more than five minutes or be it the art and set departments who never let us feel we were watching a period piece, each one has gelled with the other to create as less flawed a motion picture as it gets in present-day Hollywood.

Brokeback Mountain breaks taboos, treads on paths not travelled before and stands proudly on a lonely mountain. But at its heart it is a very simple story, a love story. Brokeback Mountain may have forever changed the way we look at cowboys, but we are better off for it.

Blood Behind the Stone

Film: Blood Diamond
Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Connelly, Djimon Hounsou
Director: Edward Zwick

When Aishwarya Rai’s limpid eyes or Sheetal Malhar’s chiselled features guide you towards the rock you so desire, do you bother whether it is a blood diamond or not? A blood diamond is one that comes from a strife-torn region and is sold by one of the warring parties to buy arms to fight against the other.

Sierra Leone in 1999 is in the grip of a bloody civil war. Solomon Vandy (Hounsou), a fisherman, is separated from his family and forced to work in the diamond mines. He discovers a rare 100-carat diamond and hides it. A smuggler Danny Archer (DiCaprio), the rebels, and a greedy South African colonel (Arnold Vosloo) all want it. All Solomon wants is his family back.

Blood Diamond is primarily an action adventure, but Edward Zwick his film as a means to bring awareness about the diamond trade, and not the other way round. The last quarter may be disappointing, but then but a mainstream film has its limitations.

Leonardo DiCaprio continues to surprise, while Jennifer Connelly breathes life into stereotypical character. The chemistry between the two is amazing considering the romance is so understated. Djimon Hounsou towers above the rest. He may be playing the man with the noble heart once too often, but few actors can do it so effortlessly, yet forcefully.

My wife has been after me for a diamond ring for some time now. Then she saw Blood Diamond. Guess what? She is still after me. In our fiercely material world, where the diamond is a prized possession, the last thing we want to be told is its bloody history. It will take more than one Blood Diamond to change our mindset. But it is a start and that has to be applauded.

Babel Towers Above the Rest

Film: Babel
Cast: Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett,
Director: Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu

As amazing the existence of so many languages and dialects is, equally startling is the possibilities of miscommunication. Lost in translation is not just a fancy phrase, it is an omnipresent reality. But what if people speaking the same language can still not understand each other? What if the problem lies in understanding the person and not the language?

A poor goat herder in the Morroccon dessert buys a gun so that his sons can keep the jackals away from the grazing goats. One act of childhood indiscretion and an American tourist Susan (Blanchett) is shot. In the middle of nowhere she bleeds while her husband Richard (Pitt) tries to get his embassy to cut the red tape faster and get medical aid across.

An ocean away a Mexican nanny cannot find anyone to take care of the American children under her care, while she pops over the border to attend her only son’s wedding. An act of desperation sees her taking them along. Another ocean away, a deaf-mute Japanese teenager struggles with being considered a misfit and also with her awakening sexuality.

Cate Blanchett is excellent as expected, while Brad Pitt simply blows you away. They are the marquee names. But it is the others, the ones we have never heard of, who stun you with their acting, leaving at least a lump in your throat.

The performance he extracts from his characters is Inarritu’s biggest achievement. That is not to say that his collaboration with screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga is any less. Arriaga’s narrative moves seamlessly across continents and periods. The only slightly less cohesive section is the Japanese chapter, but you can forgive him that because it is the most moving. Inarritu sets his own pace and makes us toe to it. At 142-minutes this is longer than most Hollywood offerings.

Babel may be one of the best movies we get to see this year, but it is not for everyone. If you think this is a pessimistic film, so be it. Real life seldom is all about optimism. At the end of Babel you will realise through all that babel one voice screams through – it is the voice of humanity. Unfortunately no one seems to be listening.

This Bully Lacks Bite

Film: The Ant Bully
Cast: Zach Tyler Eisen, Julia Roberts, Nicholas Cage
Director: John A Davis

Who says size doesn’t matter? It does all right. And how do those less endowed in bulk get even? Well, a wizard could help. At least that’s what The Ant Bully says.

Lucas (Eisen) is one of those meek, bespectacled boys who always get bullied. But Lucas takes out his ire on those smaller than him. In this case the ant colony is constantly at risk. No wonder the ants call him the Destroyer.

One day the Merlin of the ants, Zoc (Cage), brews up a potion that makes Lucas ant-size. He is brought to trial for crimes against ant-anity. The queen ant (Meryl Streep in a cameo) decrees that he be made to live and work like an ant in order to understand them. Zoc’s girlfriend Hara (Roberts) agrees to be his guide. He has a series of adventures that end in a climax where the ants try to save themselves from the pest exterminator (Paul Giamatti).

The Ant Bully is not without its attractions for an adult, but it is aimed more at kids. This is no morality tale. The few lessons the film offers are too kiddish even for kids. It’s Deepavali and if you want a family outing, The Ant Bully won’t disappoint. But if you want to see a great cartoon with ants, then rent Antz.

Stuck in a flux

Film: Aeon Flux
Cast: Charlize Theron, Marton Csokas, Frances McDormond

Director: Karyn Kusama

Not since the D W Griffith years in the early 20th century have original screenplays become such an endangered species. Theme park rides, video games and, of course, other movies have become regular sources of inspiration, besides anything on ink – children’s comics, graphic novels, short stories no one knew existed, and what not.

Aeon Flux takes off from a series of animated shorts that came out in the early ‘90s. In the year 2011, an industrial disease wiped out 99% of the world’s population. By the time a man named Goodchild found out a cure there were only five million humans left. For the last 400 years the Goodchild dynasty has been ruling what has been left of Earth. Curiously, the population still remains at five million.

Rebels, going by the name Morikans, have been slowly gathering in strength for many years. The best of them is Aeon Flux (Theron). Their aim is to strike at Trevor Goodchild (Csokas) and his oppressive regime. Aeon gets her chance to kill Trevor, but something stops her. She realises there is a lot she has to understand, a lot that is hidden.

Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi adapted the animated series with a central topic that has relevance today. But they forgot to give it life. And no amount of computer graphics and Kusama’s direction could hide that.

Charlize Theron is one of our most attractive actresses who can act. But she never gets under the skin of the character and therefore Aeon Flux is too distant from us. Marton Csokas is not only a good-looker, he has a presence too. None of the other actors make an impact.

The original Aeon Flux’s costumes were vetoed out by Theron (Do a Google search to find why). Beatrix Aruna Pasztor has come up with some innovative designs, including the sexiest nightwear I’ve seen on screen. But that’s about all one remembers of Aeon Flux one day later. This is one heck of a waste of a lot of money. But that is what happens when you lose originality. I shudder to think if Speilberg will one day come up with a film out of Letters to Penthouse.