The Weekend Heist

The best-laid plans often go awry. In a big way. I have been wanting, amongst other things, to set up a review series of Woody Allen’s movies, of Sci-fi classics, of Pixar movies, etc. I am still wanting to. Last week, however, I read a SlashFilm article about movies of a particular sub-genre that most people might not have seen and decided to try and get a few of them to watch. One thing led to another. And before I knew it I had a bunch with me. From Saturday night to Monday morning I started watching these whenever I could spare a minute. Before I knew it I am ready to write a piece on a set of movies that I started watching without any scoping out, planning, or order of execution. Ironically, all the movies dealt with those precise qualities – The Heist Movies.

A lot of the famous ones are not here, as I had already seen them before. No movie with a character called Danny Ocean or Ethan Hunt is here. Instead, I give you a ragtag bunch. Some good, some okay, some bloody marvelous. I begin, in no particular order.

Rififi

The godfather of heist movies. The standard that heist movies are judged against. A deceptively simple yarn about a con, who got out early for good behaviour, being convinced by friends to go on another job. The jewel heist is meticulously planned and executed, but things start going terribly wrong afterwards. Man can propose all he wants, but until he takes over the disposing part, he still leaves a backdoor open.

No article about Rififi can be complete without a mention of director Jules Dassin and the amazing safe-cracking sequence. Dassin was one of the many talents blacklisted during the McCarthy era by being accused of communist links. He was forced to leave the country and live in exile in Europe. Rififi was his major work in France. The safe-cracking sequence lasts for 28 minutes (according to the Net) and has no background music, barely any dialogue save for some grunts and the sound of drilling. It is an incredibly efficient heist as opposed to a flashy one. No wonder it was reportedly banned in some countries!

The simplicity of the process is what doesn’t make the movie seem dated. But do not discount the incredibly efficient direction. 30 minutes of a dialogue-less break can easily be the most boring half an hour in lesser hands. Here it is a taut, suspenseful sequence that never feels even a minute too long. If you are not a subtitle-phobic, if you do not get a fit watching a black and white movie, if you trust your own intelligence, then watch Rififi.

Topkapi

Jules Dassin is back with another caper, albeit one in a far lighter vein. His wife, the Greek actress Melina Mercouri, headlines an incredibly international cast that includes the German Maximilian Schell, the British Robert Morley, and the man of the world Peter Ustinov! It involves a bunch of extremely efficient thieves planning to steal a valuable dagger from the Topkapi museum in Istanbul. They hire a small-time conman Arthur Simpson (Ustinov) to take their arms across without his knowledge, expecting that if the Customs caught him, they would be in the clear. The Customs officials do catch him, but they assume the arms are for revolution against the government and force Simpson to act as their double agent.

Yes, the plot is as hilarious as it sounds, but not for a minute does it move away from its comedic roots. Actually, it does. During the heist scene. But instead of the authentic tone of Rififi, the sequence here is flashy and well-orchestrated. And Mission Impossible fans would do well to know where the hanging by a wire sequence really came from. While the colour in the movie has aged, the fun hasn’t. Ustinov even got an Oscar for having fun!

The Spanish Prisoner

I have no idea how I never heard of this movie before. Playwright/director is very famous for his plays and films with copious dialogue that never feel boring. This film takes its name from a 19th-century confidence trick. Campbell Scott (Spidey’s father in the new movie) is a young man who has invented a new “process”. His company takes him to a Caribbean island where he has to convince the stock-holders to invest in his process. While there, he accidentally meets with a rich businessman portrayed by Steve Martin, and an FBI agent played by the non-plastic Desperate Housewife, Felicity Huffman.

The Spanish Prisoner has so many twists and turns that Wild Things may seem mild. But they never seem contrived. I will tell you nothing further about this movie’s plot, but highly recommend for you to find it out. Some of the twists are obvious, some you will slowly figure out and some stun you. As is usual in a Mamet film, the performances steal the show, prime being Mamet’s wife Rebecca Pidgeon. Though it is hard to accept Martin in a role that doesn’t call for him to crack even one joke. The real heist is how frighteningly plausible Mamet makes this elaborate scam seem.

Heist

Compared to the earlier movie, Heist has nothing special to distinguish it as a David Mamet special. Of course it stars the beautiful Rebecca Pidgeon as an unlikely wife to a well-past-middle-age conman Gene Hackman. This is a straight-forward heist movie as opposed to a scam. Hackman is forced to take one last job (aren’t they all!) – The Swiss Job. The money man Danny Devito wants to ensure he is not cheated and insists that his nephew Sam Rockwell tags along. The heist comes across quite easily. Nothing afterwards does.

Heist is a satisfying film for those who like the genre. Not much for those who don’t. Unlike The Spanish Prisoner, the twists here appear a bit too forced. The pros strut out their stuff. And Rockwell is excellent, despite a stupid moustache. The only good thing here is Hackman never comes across as a ‘good’ conman, as is the case in most of these movies. He is just as bad. But better at his job!

Point Break

This is one movie that has been alternately defined as a buddy movie, a gay flick, an action thriller, a philosophical tome, a sex-n-drugs extravaganza. The list goes on. I would add where-do-they-get-these-character-names movie to it. Keanu Reeves is Johnny Utah, a rookie FBI agent who joins hands with Pappas (Gary Busey) to catch a bunch of bank robbers called the Ex-Presidents, because of the masks of former presidents (two Republicans and two Democrats!) they use in their heists. They come across this wild conclusion that the robbers were surfers and Utah goes undercover to catch free spirit Bodhi (Swayze) and his team. He falls for Bodhi’s former squeeze Tyler (relax, it is a chick) and his “set-yourself-free” mumbo jumbo.

Point Break is one of those cult hits that mean different things to different people. Kathryn Bigelow set out to show she is as good as the dudes in making an action film. And she succeeds. The way she showcases Swayze in slow motion kind of hints in your face that she had the hots for him. But then it is Patrick Swayze. He could make guys root for him in a dancing movie. Big, blonde surfing dude with a hippie philosophy. No-brainer. Keanu Reeves does that one thing he is capable of doing in movies. And he does that quite earnestly here, I must add. For me the best part was the concept of the ex-presidents. Period.

The Lavender Hill Mob

I like a lot of black and white films. Call me old. I prefer to call myself lucky. The Lavender Hill Mob is an absolute blast. The peerless Alec Guinness stars as Mr Holland a low bank clerk, whose only redeeming quality is his honesty. For 20 years he had been the bank’s representative for the transfer of gold bullion. The gold attracted him, but he was smart enough to know he hadn’t the means to steal it or get it out of the country. All that changed once he met Pendlebury, a souvenir-maker. The two join forces and commit the daring robbery. Do they live to enjoy the loot?

 

The Lavender Hill Mob is from the times when movies had a lot of heart. Mr Holland never comes across as a villain, but nor does his heist gets any sympathy. Human emotions like greed, frailty, foresight, innovation, stupidity and the incredible ability of kids to cause problems all come up to the fore. Do not think that old movies are boring or lack production values. This is edge-of-the-seat excitement that even Michael Bay cannot provide, giant robots notwithstanding.

For me the biggest thrill happened when a very minor character walked across the screen for a minute and said two lines. This movie was made way before cameos became the in thing. When this very famous actress comes and goes never to come on screen again, you realize that this is one of her first roles and that is all there is to it. These are the smaller delights that come from watching movies! And is worth every… whatever you measure it with.

Earth's Mightiest Heroes - Having Lotsa Fun

Film: The Avengers
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L Jackson
Director: Joss Whedon

Fun. A three-letter word that is overused and misinterpreted most of the time. Fun is a deeply personal experience. What is fun for one maybe quite unfunny for another. Many are the undertakings that endeavour to provide fun, but few succeed. Comic books began with just that one intention. So did movies. Comic book movies? I am not so sure. Having said that, I must confess that I saw The Avengers and I had a lot of fun.

Comic books have gone dark. They deal more with angst and despair than with super heroics. Comic book movies have also followed suit. Once in a while comes a comic book movie that wears its heart on its spandex sleeve; that takes pride, and not shame, in declaring it is out to provide fun. The Avengers is one.

The Avengers as a group is a bad idea. You pair a billionaire industrialist with a drinking problem, a steroid-enhanced WW 2 soldier who was frozen for 70 years, a brilliant scientist with a small Jekyll and Hyde problem, an incredible marksman with an akshayapatra for a quiver, a hot Russian spy and a god from another realm. It worked in comics because comics require great suspension of disbelief. The movie invites us to disbelieve in the concept. It feeds on the incompatibility and by making it a plot device slowly makes the idea seem a little less incredulous than it sounds. It makes the teaming up seem like real fun.

Within 15 minutes, Loki (Hiddleston), the Asgardian God of Mischief, enters the fortress of SHIELD, a secret government agency, through a portal created by the Tesseract, a cosmic cube possessing unlimited power. Loki enslaves Hawkeye (Renner), steals the Tesseract and leaves the scene. SHIELD boss Nick Fury (Jackson) calls in his emergency response team consisting of Iron Man (Downey Jr.), Captain America (Evans), Black Widow (Johansson) and Bruce Banner aka Hulk (Ruffalo). Loki's brother Thor (Hemsworth) joins in. The remainder of the first half is all about the sparks that fly when the motley crew gets together. After the break, all hell breaks loose. And how!

When Marvel handed over the reins of Avengers to Joss Whedon, nerds and geeks rejoiced. But sensible people scratched their heads. Whedon had directed only one film. The inexperience shows, I am sorry to say. The forgettable intros to the heroes look like they were outsourced to Brett Ratner. The handheld camera work, while thankfully minimal, is too shaky for us to register anything. But Whedon seems to have learnt on the job. He gets more assured as the movie goes on. What was brilliant about hiring Whedon the director was that the studio got Whedon the writer for free. Among his several writing credits include a much-lauded run on X-Men comics. He knows his comics and he is funny as hell. Humour is the thread that holds the movie together. The verbal banter serves as an excellent foreplay to a very satisfying climax.

In the comics, Captain America is the undisputed leader of the Avengers. But even Whedon cannot convince us that Chris Evans can do the job, so he doesn’t try. The Cap is the most underwritten of the major characters and Evans clearly looks lost. The other Chris, Hemsworth, carries on from where he left off in Thor. Contrary to many fears, The Avengers does not become Iron Man 3. Robert Downey Jr relishes the chance to play in a group and he is far better than in Iron Man 2. Scarlett Johansson and Jeremy Renner have their moments, but only make up the numbers at other times. Samuel L Jackson finally has a meaty role and he tears up the scenery. Even the affable Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson has a pivotal performance.

The surprise packet is Mark Ruffalo. An oddball choice, he is as funny as Downey and relishes the break from rom-coms and indies. His Hulk is the best yet on the big screen. And the funniest. Yes, you read it right. A hilarious Hulk! He is helped by being the most lovingly developed character in the movie.

What makes The Avengers good fun, but not great fun is Loki. Thor's bro may be a big shot in the comics, but he didn’t convince me in Thor. Neither does he here. Tom Hiddleston tries his best but never comes across as a menacing villain who needed so many heroes to take him down.

But that alone should not take away from The Avengers. Despite its long run length, it never feels like it is trying too hard to keep our attention. It does not need to. A day afterwards, it does not leave any bitter aftertaste, nor does it recall any brilliant memories, except for some witty lines. But while it lasted, it was a rollicking good ride. It gave me fun in dollops. But I can't guarantee it will do the same for you. After all, fun is personal!

The Return of the King

Film: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
Cast: Andy Serkis, Jamie Bell, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost
Director: Steven Spielberg

"The world is divided into two -- people who think Tintin is better than Asterix and people who think Asterix is better than Tintin."

Or so belive fans of either series. For most of us in these shores, these are our first introduction to the world of comics, rather than Batman or Superman. For me, Asterix is magic, while Tintin was just good fun.

Then I saw The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. In bright 2D. And was stunned. Right from the innovative opening sequences harking back to the 60s, to the crackerjack of a cliffhanger, this was a rare delight. One of the rare instances a movie goes beyond its book(s).

The story revolves around Tintin (Bell), a reporter of indeterminable age and his mongrel, Snowy. Buying a replica of a ship called The Unicorn, they come up against Sakharine (Craig), a mysterious gentleman with a hidden agenda. Tintin's inquisitiveness lead him to being kidnapped and imprisoned on a ship where he meets its drunken captain Haddock (Serkis). Together, with Snowy, they go around the workld in a tale of intrigue, revenge and hidden treasure. They are helped by the most inept pair of cops on print, and now celluloid, Thomson and Thompson (Pegg and Frost).

Even before I knew how to spell characterisation, I had felt that Tintin was the least memorable character in the books. Recently I read that Herge had done this intentionally so that the reader could become Tintin and have all those adventures. Ingenious. In the movie, however, Tintin is more fleshed out and Jamie Bell's (forever our Billy Elliot) precise diction makes sure he is not dwarfed by his more famous co-stars.

Daniel Craig is surprisingly unrecognisable as Sacharine. His voice is far removed from James Bond, but his ideally suited for the slimy villain. Thomson and Thompson are the funniest characters in the books and Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are dream casting. But either their best scenes ended on the cutting floor or they are being saved for the sequels. We are left wishing for more.

The colossus of the Tintin comics was Captain Haddock and he needed to be cast right. I presume it took Spielberg and Jackson all of half a second to decide on Andy Serkis, and why not. Already the First Knight of motion capture, he effortlessly makes Haddock entertaining and endearing. It is not just the belligerant swearing, but the subtle changes in emotions that once again make us fall in love with Captain Archibald Haddock, billions of blue blistering barnacles notwithstanding.

Tintin is an adventure movie in the Indiana Jones tradition. A lot credit is due to its screenplay. Another rare occasion where too many cooks do not spoil the broth. Edgar Wright, Steven Moffat and Joe Cornish conjure up a plot that reveals both their admiration and their expertise with these comics. Speilberg regulars John Williams (music), Janusz Kaminski (camera) and Michael Kahn (editing) combine to give us a spectacle that doesn't feel like one. The visual effects are top notch. Even I, a critic of motion capture, feel that the technology has come a long way from the ghastly ghost faces of The Polar Express.

All of the above make for an entertaining film. But Tintin is far more. Be forewarned. This is where I go all misty-eyed and broken-voiced. Tintin rises above even its loftiest ambitions because of what it demonstrates in every frame. To quote a cliche: He's back.

Once upon a time Steven Spielberg was our favourite director. He had regularly awed us with his films. He had even written the blueprint for modern adventure films. Then he stepped down a few pedestals to become just a "good" filmmaker. Tintin gives us the Speilberg of yore. From the delightful first glimpse of Tintin till the climatic crane fight (you read that right), via a fantastic sequence where desert mirages become a flashback devise, and an amazing chase through a Moroccon town, Speilberg reminds us of what we were missing. We go with him on a swashbuckling adventure, and realise that he is having as much fun as we are.

Tintin is like a dish we were apprehensive about, yet once partaken, outdid our wildest expectations. It tells us again that the child in all of us is the one having the most fun. And a lot of it is because the world is actually divided into two: Those who think Speilberg is the most entertaining director in the world, and those who have not experienced Speilberg's movies yet.

A Vintage Not Uncommon

Film: A Good Year
Cast: Russell Crowe, Albert Finney, Freddie Highmore
Director: Ridley Scott

How many times have we heard it before? Rich, successful, insensitive man-of-the-town learns that the good things in life are got away from the big, bad city, when man and nature commune. It’s a fable worthy of Aesop. So, how is A Good Year different? The answer – it isn’t.

Max is a big player in the London Stock Exchange. Insanely successful, incredibly unpopular and couldn’t care a hoot either way. One day a letter arrives informing him of his Uncle Henry’s (Finney) death. Max inherits his uncle’s estate, a chateau and vineyard in France. As a child, Max had spent many a happy summer there, but now he has no use for the place or the memories. He travels to France to sell the place, but hindrances arise in the form of Max’s illegitimate daughter Christie (Abbie Cornish), a beautiful bistro owner Fanny (Marion Cotillard), the chateau’s undrinkable wine, and a series of memories that refuse to fade.

I’m no Russell Crowe fan, but I don’t deny his talent. He brings an impishness that makes Max very likeable. Abbie Cornish and Marion Cotillard make up cute scenery, nothing more. The film’s best moments are when Albert Finney and the amazingly talented Freddie Highmore, who plays young Max, get together.

A Good Year is just an ordinary film. Philippe Le Sourd’s fabulous cinematography is matched by Marc Klein’s lifeless screenplay. Sensitive performances stand against immature characterisations. There is nothing in it to suggest that A Good Year is a film that merits the attention of a Russell Crowe. But the only thing that Crowe has done recently that merits any attention is throwing telephones at people. So, the twain get along.

A Ghastly, Lifeless Ride

Film: Ghostrider
Cast: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda
Director: Mark Steven Johnson

Man has walked on the moon, but he still hasn’t mastered the art of walking straight after a drink too many. Likewise, the visual effects guys have succeeded in making J.R.R. Tolkein’s magical creatures seem so real, but they still can’t provide believable muscles to Nicholas Cage.

Why are we talking about Cage’s false muscles? Because there isn’t much to talk about otherwise in Ghostrider. It never was a famous comic book and its Satanic references put a lot of people off. (Many people felt it portrayed the Devil as being too weak. I agree.) Stunt rider Johnny Blaze (Cage) sold his soul to Mephistopheles (Fonda) to save his father’s life. Blaze became the top stunt rider in the world doing incredible stunts but never getting seriously hurt. Until one day, when Mephistopheles comes to hold him to his contract.

Blackheart (Wes Bentley), Mephistopheles’ son has decided to take over hell. To stop him his father calls upon Blaze to become the Ghostrider, a kind of super-skeleton who is constantly on fire. Blaze must obey his bidding, stop Blackheart, get back Roxanne (Mendes), his old girlfriend, and save his soul. Are you still confused? Don’t worry, I am, too. And I have seen the movie and read a few comics.

Nicholas Cage wears a permanent bewildered expression whenever he is on screen. Eva Mendes wears figure-hugging outfits and displays a lot of cleavage, but is surprisingly cold. Peter Fonda should have sat at home. For such a ridiculous premise coming up with a decent screenplay was tough and writer-director Johnson doesn’t prove equal to the task. The visual effects are nothing great and we already discussed Cage’s muscles.

Ghostrider is an absolute waste of time and shouldn’t appeal to anyone but the senseless, jobless and drunk, which sort of describes the crowd I was with. If you are curious to see a flaming skeleton on two wheels then go ahead. Chances are you’ll come out saying Cage’s corny dialogue, “Feels like my skull’s on fire.”

Feast for the Eyes, Fodder for the Brain

Film: Memoirs of a Geisha
Cast: Ziyi Zhang, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Ken Watanabe
Director: Rob Marshall

They say a geisha is not a prostitute. She is an "artist of the floating world". Her job is "to entertain men". She can be the wife to no man because "she is the wife of nightfall". But her virginity can be auctioned off to the highest bidder. And the story of the "eel and the cave" is a reality, however infrequent it may be. Pardon my ignorance of ancient Japanese culture, but if you take away the arts and music isn’t a geisha, too, a pursuer of the world’s oldest profession?

Memoirs of a Geisha, an adaptation of Arthur Golden’s bestseller, follows the travails of a young girl, Chiyo, from her impoverished childhood near the sea to being a geisha legend. Chiyo (Suzuka Ogho) and her sister are sold off when their parents could not afford to bring them up.

She was working as a slave in the geisha household of Mother (Kaori Momoi) when she has a chance encounter with the Chairman (Watanabe). The young girl with eyes "that had water in them" was enamoured by the kind gentleman who made her smile. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Until one day when Mameha (Yeoh), a famous geisha, comes up with a proposal to take Chiyo (now grown up and played by Zhang) under her wings. Chiyo is renamed Saiyuri and her journey begins towards geisha-hood.

Michelle Yeoh and Ken Watanabe have come up with amazingly restrained performances. Yeoh, in particular, is a delight as the seasoned geisha who cares for the sprightly young girl in whose eyes she sees greatness.

The ‘special appearance by Gong Li’ that we see on the posters is an insult to the great actress. As the rival geisha, Hatsumono, Gong Li is simply superb. She is the one carrying the film and is a marvellous foil to the younger actress. She makes you hate her for her bitchiness, but also pity her for her life.

The last time I saw an actress and said "beauty like this is a sin" was when I saw a fiery young warrior in search of her destiny. I say it again. And guess what, it is the same actress. Ziyi Zhang matches her fragile looks with a credible performance. Her character, despite being the heroine, is not very fleshed out, but still Ziyi brings life to it.

Memoirs of a Geisha (the film, at least) is nothing but a mushy love story. It is a movie of epic proportions, but it does not become an epic simply because the story is not strong enough. The screenplay tries to compress too much into two-and-a-half hours that the last quarter is too rushed, too contrived and too much of a letdown. The change in pace is very evident.

Rob Marshal (Chicago) has done a fabulous job in visualising early 20th century Japan and cinematographer Dion Beebe has given him the assistance to bring it to us. John Williams’ score is both haunting and soothing. The art and visual departments have come together in such a way as to arrest our eyes.

Make no mistake, visually, Memoirs of a Geisha is as lush a period piece as they come. Beyond that it’s just Mills and Boon. To understand the nuances of that time and culture you need at least a 144-episode series, not a 144-minute film, Until then you can tell me as many times a geisha is not a prostitute, but you cannot convince me.

Drat! The Fat Cat is Back

Film: Garfield 2
Cast Bill Murray, Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt
Director: Tim Hill

A wise guy of a friend once told me, "How would you feel if I told you I don’t like Calvin and Hobbes?" I almost choked. As words failed me, staring incredulously was all I could do. The wise guy goes on: "That’s how I feel when you keep telling me you don’t like Garfield." Oops, the secret is out! Non-Garfield worshipper in the house. But seriously, how can you compare Garfield with Calvin and Hobbes? Before this comic argument assumes Asterix vs Tintin proportions (we all know Asterix is far better), let us turn to Garfield 2, the movie.

When they decided to make another of those comic strips into a live action movie two years ago fans would have groaned. How could they get a cat actor that looks anything like the greediest cat in the world? The makers went in for CGI, and bad CGI at that, too. But largely due to the vocal talents of Bill Murray in the title role, the movie made enough money to warrant a sequel. Groan!

The incredibly dumb Jon (played with utmost boredom by Breckin Meyer) decides to follow his girlfriend Liz (the cute Hewitt trying to look too cute and ending up as not) to London. Garfield, and that insult to caninedom, Odie, hide in the baggage. In the Queen’s land, Prince (Tim Curry), the pet of a late insanely rich lady, inherits her entire estate. The evil nephew Lord Dargis (Billy Connolly doing a terrible version of John Cleese) wants Prince to meet the God of Cats as soon as possible so he can get the moolah. Garfield and Prince accidentally switch places. And the movie drags along as only one with two terribly fat cats can.

Bill Murray tries his best to keep this madhouse afloat, but even he sounds bored. It doesn’t help when his co-actors together cook up the blandest possible dish. None of comic creator Jim Davis’ acerbic wit (you have to give credit where it’s due) is on display.

As for me I’ll get away from here as fast as possible and try to think up how to take Rs 4,700 from the family kitty without the wife knowing and buy the complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes. Maybe I should take her to see Garfield 2. She might end up becoming a Calvin fan.