Fast, Furious, Forgettable

Film: The Fast and The Furious- Tokyo Drift
Cast: Lucas Black, Nathalie Kellie
Director: Justin Lin

Like most things American the craze for cars, too, has permeated the globe. The difference being few other countries can afford such a fascination. So they make do with second hand experiences like watching the Fast and the Furious movies.

Few gave it a chance when the original Fast and the Furious came out with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. But apparently it and the sequel made enough money to warrant a third in the franchise.

Sean Boswell (Black) is still in school but has a serious driving problem. After demolishing a construction site, he gets an ultimatum: Leave the country or go to jail. He lands up in Tokyo to set up shack with his estranged father. Within a day at his new school he gets the eye of the pretty Neela (Kellie), the buddyhood of Twinkie (Bow Wow), the ire of DK (Brian Tee), and the trust of Han (Sung Kang). Let the madness begin.

Lucas Black has a nice smile. Period. Nathalie Kellie looks more Indian than Preity Zinta. The only Indian connection she may have is with the Peruvian Indians. No one in the movie has bothered going to acting classes, just like their predecessors. Japanese legend Sonny Chiba (last seen in Kill Bill) deigned to show his presence here. We will never know why.

The only thing fresh in Tokyo Drift is the location. Keeping with the global audience getting out of the States was a smart move. Otherwise, scantily clad girls, the flashy cars, the mad races and the awful crashes are still there. If you like all these, you might enjoy the movie. I don’t, so I didn’t.

A Stone Not Worth Romancing

Film: The Family Stone
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Diane Keaton, Luke Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes, Dermot Mulroney
Director: Thomas Bezucha

Isn’t it strange that all three English movies released this weekend haven something to do with ‘stone’? This one is Family Stone, Basic Instinct 2 has Sharon Stone and Zathura means Stone in Swahili. (Just kidding!) And at least the first two have all the feelings we associate with a stone: cold, impersonal, uninteresting. Is this the season for boredom or what?

The Family Stone follows the fortunes of a family, rather predictably, over a three-day period culminating in Christmas Day. Everett (Mulroney), the eldest of the Stone children is bringing his girlfriend Meredith (Parker) to meet his folks. The cultured Meredith does not go well with the happy-go-lucky family. Kelly (Craig T Nelson) tries to be a bit civil, but he is overpowered by his wife, Sybil (Keaton), and daughter, Amy (Rachel), who want to sink in their claws into Meredith from the word go. While elder sister Susan (Elizabeth Reaser) and deaf and gay younger brother Thad (Tyrone Giordano), tolerate her, it is left to Ben (Wilson) to make her feel a little less out of place.

The beleaguered Meredith calls for reinforcements in the form of her sister Julie (Danes). Add in Brad (Paul Schneider) who had a cherry business with Amy a long time ago, and you have a Christmas which is spelt the same way disaster is.
The basic problem with Family Stone is it straddles genres. Any movie which does that has to be extremely good to succeed. Family Stone is not. Beginning as a nice family drama, it suddenly decides to change tracks to become a screwball comedy. In between it has doses of abstract dialogue that will go above the heads of its designated audience. Director Thomas Bezucha’s script tries to be funny, sad, poignant and half a dozen other things and ends up being nothing.

It is unfortunate that a film such as this should have such a well-known cast. Sarah Jessica Parker does not have to try too hard to be the annoying Meredith. Neither does Claire Danes, but she hardly has any screen time. Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson act cute and that’s about it. Veterans Diane Keaton and Craig T Nelson are efficient as always. The very-much-in-the-news Rachel McAdams has the best role and she is a delight.

Family Stone would have been a decent feel-good Christmas film if it wanted to. Or it could have been an all-out screwball romp. Too bad it tries to be everything. This is stale fare. As cold and uninteresting as a stone.

Bay is Back, and No Different At All

Film: Transformer: Dark of the Moon
Cast: Peter Cullen, Shia Lebeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Frances McDormand, Leonard Nimoy, John Malkovich,
Director: Michael Bay

"And now, " screamed the announcer, "to perform exclusively for you, here is the Limca Book of Records holder, Robot Ganesh." And to the bafflement of a movie audience, a topless man completely covered in silver paint walked in front of the screen. He then proceeded to 'perform'. His act was a medley of robot-like steps to a soundtrack that was a collection of electronic noises. When it ended, my feelings were:

1. It was audacious. To expect people to come and see a guy enacting clichéd robot-like steps and nothing more takes balls.
2. It was too long. Cut by half it would have been interesting, at least
3. There was no structure, just an assortment of steps without any purpose.
4. The guy was in perfect physical shape. His muscles were rippled without seeming on steroids.
5. Other than the robot connection, I could see no reason for the show to exist before a movie.

The four letters F-R-E-E in that order are intoxicating. So much so, that I, of all people, went for a 3D screening of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (or TF3, as I prefer to call it), because I got free tickets!

TF3 begins with a digitally created JFK, an impersonation of Obama and a very real presence of Buzz Aldrin. If that didn't get you, here comes the 'plot'. It seems the space race was actually something else. (The conspiracy theorists were right, after all!) Aliens had crashed on the moon and we had to find what they were up to. Then follows the antics of Sentinal Prime (Nimoy), the Einstein of the Autobots (who are giant robots), Optimus Prime (Cullen) and his ragtag bunch (also giant robots) and villanous Megatron (Hugo Weaving). You guessed it right, also a giant robot!

In the middle is Sam Witwicky (LeBeouf), a born loser who continues to get into more trouble than he can handle, and gets lucky with more hot females than we can fathom, illusion of cinema notwithstanding. He manages to save the world for the third time, despite screwing up with his new flame Carly (Huntington), being screwed around by new boss Bruce (Malkovich) and getting his screws torn apart by a Secret Agent superboss Mearing (McDormand). Yes, this is that kind of movie.

Director Michael Bay is consistent. He doesn't care about clarity, restraint or silence. He goes all out to give his audience what he believes to be the best bang for their buck. And as his record show, a lot of earthlings agree with him. He goes the same route with TF3. With a lot of help from his screenwriters, he delivers a vaguely half-decent movie. I am actually praising Bay here!

I have always believed the lack of story and surplus of noise deprived the Transformers series of a genuine plus - its visual effects. For a movie that is almost completely effect-oriented, you never get a feeling of falseness looking at the screen. And the 3D here, actually works in the traditional, crowd-pleasing sense. There are lots of objects hurtling towards you. If only the glasses were more comfortable.

Of all the new additions in this adventure, Frances McDormand has the meatiest role, and she delightfully hams away. Malcovich, well, I’d like to see his cheque. You can deny Megan Fox the last ounce of her acting talent, but you have to admit she has that 'it' factor. She'd stand apart even with giant robots. Rosie Huntington-Whitely may fill in her Victoria's Secrets, but her entire performance can be summed up in the context of a single shot. Things are blowing up and shrapnel is flying around in super slow motion. In the middle stands Rosie with a face devoid of all expression, staring through us into the distance. Deep down, I suspect Michael Bay is on Team Megan.

TF3, however famous its brand name is, cannot succeed as a populist movie unless it had at least one old-fashioned, larger-than-life hero. Thankfully, it has one. And that is Shia LeBeouf. Haha! Got you there, didn't I? The real hero is the gigantic Optimus Prime. The clear, soothing baritone of Peter Cullen has a lot of admirers, including she with whom I share a bed. Once again he brings a sense of gravity, a calm amidst the chaos, the only goosebump moments. They should have chucked Shia and stuck with Optimus.

Finally, when the credits rolled and I was standing in an ungodly queue to return my glasses, my thoughts were:

1. The franchise is audacious. It still believes it can attract an audience to see giant robots bashing each other. And it will.
2. It was too long.
3. It had no narrative structure. Just a lot of explosions threaded together.
4. The movie looks good on a superficial level. Michael Bay flexes his blockbuster muscles and delivers what is expected of him. Not more.
5. Apart from being a huge money spinner, I still do not see any reason for Transformers to exist as a movie.

Deconstructing Woody

I had no idea who or what Woody Allen was.

My first initiation came during schooldays through that awesome newspaper - Indian Express. One of their Sunday cartoon strips was something called Inside Woody Allen. It was based on this thin, bespectacled, neurotic, diffident, angst-ridden, Jewish mini basketcase. Of course, at that time I didn't know most of those words! But I still was able to grasp some of the not-so-subtle parts of the humour. Inside Woody Allen was not as simple, and hence, as funny as Bringing Up Father But I still preferred it to the supremely unfunny Peanuts.

The years passed by and to my surprise I discovered that Woody Allen was an actual person. The nonexistence of Internet and a healthy lack of too much curiosity made me not investigate further. Later on, in college, I found that he was an actor and a director. Which was a big surprise, as in small-town Kerala where I came from, I was pretty much an expert on Hollywood movies (ah, the arrogance, the impertinence!). And I had never seen any of Woody's movies, nor even heard of them. I promised myself I would watch them and judge them myself. I have made a lot of promises to myself.

Anyway, time passed. The idea of Woody became more important than the movies of Woody. I saw a couple of his films in passing. Nothing more. I am now in a point of my life where I am acutely aware of my mortality. Something Woody has been screaming from the rooftops, it seems! And so, I am embarking on my great project. See all Woody Allen movies. Review them. Share my opinions.

Join me as I go on my journey of Deconstructing Woody. I don't know when and if I will complete it. But I'll be damned if I don't give it a shot!

Play it again, Woody. This time, for only my sake.

The Death of the Movie Theatre

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/75-abandoned-theaters-from-around-the-usa

Oscar Predictions 2011

It's less than 12 hours to the Oscars, and this is the late-est I have been with my predictions. So, without much further ado here's my list. I am not adding much by the way of comments as I am going to publish another post in a few days about what I feel was the best in each category. But I need to see a few more movies to do that.

This, on the other hand, is my predictions of who will win, based on my experience as an Oscar-watcher over the years, and also my extremely questionable inside knowledge of the industry!

And the Oscar goes to...

Best Motion Picture of the Year
The Social Network

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo for The Fighter

Best Achievement in Directing
David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
The King's Speech: David Seidler

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Toy Story 3: Lee Unkrich

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Hævnen: Susanne Bier (Denmark)

Best Achievement in Cinematography
True Grit: Roger Deakins

Best Achievement in Editing
127 Hours: Jon Harris

Best Achievement in Art Direction
Inception: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland: Colleen Atwood

Best Achievement in Makeup
The Wolfman: Rick Baker, Dave Elsey

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
Tangled: Alan Menken, Glenn Slater("I See the Light")

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
Inception: Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Inception: Richard King

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Inception: Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin

Best Documentary, Features
Exit Through the Gift Shop: Banksy, Jaimie D'Cruz

Best Documentary, Short Subjects
Poster Girl: Sara Nesson, Mitchell Block

Best Short Film, Animated
Day & Night: Teddy Newton

Best Short Film, Live Action
Wish 143: Ian Barnes, Samantha Waite

Golden Globes 2011 - My Pics

The silly season has already begun. Tom, Dick and Harry and their mistresses have started handing out accolades in the hope of getting a few inches of spotlight. David Fincher and Co have started graciously accepting them as part of a well-oiled (but not perfected) lobbying procedure. Destination: Oscar.

The Golden Globes have the second-biggest coverage. Not because of any artistic merit, but as a result of a carefully thought-out nomination procedure that ensures star wattage. And the Golden Globes are where we begin the prediction game. A few of us take part in an two-part annual exercise wherein we predict the winners at the Golden Balls and Golden Nude awards. We battle it out for doughnuts. Or virtual doughnuts, if you may; as the losers don't always pay up!

I go on a limb and offer my first predictions.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

The Social Network

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Best Director - Motion Picture

David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Burlesque : Diane Warren ("You Haven't Seen The Last of Me")

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Animated Film

Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film

Biutiful: (Mexico/Spain)

Best Television Series - Drama

The Walking Dead

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Glee

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

Idris Elba for "Luther"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Claire Danes for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Matthew Morrison for "Glee"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama

Steve Buscemi for "Boardwalk Empire"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Elisabeth Moss for "Mad Men"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

David Strathairn for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Jane Lynch for "Glee"