The Return of the King

Film: The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
Cast: Andy Serkis, Jamie Bell, Daniel Craig, Simon Pegg, Nick Frost
Director: Steven Spielberg

"The world is divided into two -- people who think Tintin is better than Asterix and people who think Asterix is better than Tintin."

Or so belive fans of either series. For most of us in these shores, these are our first introduction to the world of comics, rather than Batman or Superman. For me, Asterix is magic, while Tintin was just good fun.

Then I saw The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. In bright 2D. And was stunned. Right from the innovative opening sequences harking back to the 60s, to the crackerjack of a cliffhanger, this was a rare delight. One of the rare instances a movie goes beyond its book(s).

The story revolves around Tintin (Bell), a reporter of indeterminable age and his mongrel, Snowy. Buying a replica of a ship called The Unicorn, they come up against Sakharine (Craig), a mysterious gentleman with a hidden agenda. Tintin's inquisitiveness lead him to being kidnapped and imprisoned on a ship where he meets its drunken captain Haddock (Serkis). Together, with Snowy, they go around the workld in a tale of intrigue, revenge and hidden treasure. They are helped by the most inept pair of cops on print, and now celluloid, Thomson and Thompson (Pegg and Frost).

Even before I knew how to spell characterisation, I had felt that Tintin was the least memorable character in the books. Recently I read that Herge had done this intentionally so that the reader could become Tintin and have all those adventures. Ingenious. In the movie, however, Tintin is more fleshed out and Jamie Bell's (forever our Billy Elliot) precise diction makes sure he is not dwarfed by his more famous co-stars.

Daniel Craig is surprisingly unrecognisable as Sacharine. His voice is far removed from James Bond, but his ideally suited for the slimy villain. Thomson and Thompson are the funniest characters in the books and Nick Frost and Simon Pegg are dream casting. But either their best scenes ended on the cutting floor or they are being saved for the sequels. We are left wishing for more.

The colossus of the Tintin comics was Captain Haddock and he needed to be cast right. I presume it took Spielberg and Jackson all of half a second to decide on Andy Serkis, and why not. Already the First Knight of motion capture, he effortlessly makes Haddock entertaining and endearing. It is not just the belligerant swearing, but the subtle changes in emotions that once again make us fall in love with Captain Archibald Haddock, billions of blue blistering barnacles notwithstanding.

Tintin is an adventure movie in the Indiana Jones tradition. A lot credit is due to its screenplay. Another rare occasion where too many cooks do not spoil the broth. Edgar Wright, Steven Moffat and Joe Cornish conjure up a plot that reveals both their admiration and their expertise with these comics. Speilberg regulars John Williams (music), Janusz Kaminski (camera) and Michael Kahn (editing) combine to give us a spectacle that doesn't feel like one. The visual effects are top notch. Even I, a critic of motion capture, feel that the technology has come a long way from the ghastly ghost faces of The Polar Express.

All of the above make for an entertaining film. But Tintin is far more. Be forewarned. This is where I go all misty-eyed and broken-voiced. Tintin rises above even its loftiest ambitions because of what it demonstrates in every frame. To quote a cliche: He's back.

Once upon a time Steven Spielberg was our favourite director. He had regularly awed us with his films. He had even written the blueprint for modern adventure films. Then he stepped down a few pedestals to become just a "good" filmmaker. Tintin gives us the Speilberg of yore. From the delightful first glimpse of Tintin till the climatic crane fight (you read that right), via a fantastic sequence where desert mirages become a flashback devise, and an amazing chase through a Moroccon town, Speilberg reminds us of what we were missing. We go with him on a swashbuckling adventure, and realise that he is having as much fun as we are.

Tintin is like a dish we were apprehensive about, yet once partaken, outdid our wildest expectations. It tells us again that the child in all of us is the one having the most fun. And a lot of it is because the world is actually divided into two: Those who think Speilberg is the most entertaining director in the world, and those who have not experienced Speilberg's movies yet.

A Vintage Not Uncommon

Film: A Good Year
Cast: Russell Crowe, Albert Finney, Freddie Highmore
Director: Ridley Scott

How many times have we heard it before? Rich, successful, insensitive man-of-the-town learns that the good things in life are got away from the big, bad city, when man and nature commune. It’s a fable worthy of Aesop. So, how is A Good Year different? The answer – it isn’t.

Max is a big player in the London Stock Exchange. Insanely successful, incredibly unpopular and couldn’t care a hoot either way. One day a letter arrives informing him of his Uncle Henry’s (Finney) death. Max inherits his uncle’s estate, a chateau and vineyard in France. As a child, Max had spent many a happy summer there, but now he has no use for the place or the memories. He travels to France to sell the place, but hindrances arise in the form of Max’s illegitimate daughter Christie (Abbie Cornish), a beautiful bistro owner Fanny (Marion Cotillard), the chateau’s undrinkable wine, and a series of memories that refuse to fade.

I’m no Russell Crowe fan, but I don’t deny his talent. He brings an impishness that makes Max very likeable. Abbie Cornish and Marion Cotillard make up cute scenery, nothing more. The film’s best moments are when Albert Finney and the amazingly talented Freddie Highmore, who plays young Max, get together.

A Good Year is just an ordinary film. Philippe Le Sourd’s fabulous cinematography is matched by Marc Klein’s lifeless screenplay. Sensitive performances stand against immature characterisations. There is nothing in it to suggest that A Good Year is a film that merits the attention of a Russell Crowe. But the only thing that Crowe has done recently that merits any attention is throwing telephones at people. So, the twain get along.

A Ghastly, Lifeless Ride

Film: Ghostrider
Cast: Nicholas Cage, Eva Mendes, Peter Fonda
Director: Mark Steven Johnson

Man has walked on the moon, but he still hasn’t mastered the art of walking straight after a drink too many. Likewise, the visual effects guys have succeeded in making J.R.R. Tolkein’s magical creatures seem so real, but they still can’t provide believable muscles to Nicholas Cage.

Why are we talking about Cage’s false muscles? Because there isn’t much to talk about otherwise in Ghostrider. It never was a famous comic book and its Satanic references put a lot of people off. (Many people felt it portrayed the Devil as being too weak. I agree.) Stunt rider Johnny Blaze (Cage) sold his soul to Mephistopheles (Fonda) to save his father’s life. Blaze became the top stunt rider in the world doing incredible stunts but never getting seriously hurt. Until one day, when Mephistopheles comes to hold him to his contract.

Blackheart (Wes Bentley), Mephistopheles’ son has decided to take over hell. To stop him his father calls upon Blaze to become the Ghostrider, a kind of super-skeleton who is constantly on fire. Blaze must obey his bidding, stop Blackheart, get back Roxanne (Mendes), his old girlfriend, and save his soul. Are you still confused? Don’t worry, I am, too. And I have seen the movie and read a few comics.

Nicholas Cage wears a permanent bewildered expression whenever he is on screen. Eva Mendes wears figure-hugging outfits and displays a lot of cleavage, but is surprisingly cold. Peter Fonda should have sat at home. For such a ridiculous premise coming up with a decent screenplay was tough and writer-director Johnson doesn’t prove equal to the task. The visual effects are nothing great and we already discussed Cage’s muscles.

Ghostrider is an absolute waste of time and shouldn’t appeal to anyone but the senseless, jobless and drunk, which sort of describes the crowd I was with. If you are curious to see a flaming skeleton on two wheels then go ahead. Chances are you’ll come out saying Cage’s corny dialogue, “Feels like my skull’s on fire.”

Feast for the Eyes, Fodder for the Brain

Film: Memoirs of a Geisha
Cast: Ziyi Zhang, Gong Li, Michelle Yeoh, Ken Watanabe
Director: Rob Marshall

They say a geisha is not a prostitute. She is an "artist of the floating world". Her job is "to entertain men". She can be the wife to no man because "she is the wife of nightfall". But her virginity can be auctioned off to the highest bidder. And the story of the "eel and the cave" is a reality, however infrequent it may be. Pardon my ignorance of ancient Japanese culture, but if you take away the arts and music isn’t a geisha, too, a pursuer of the world’s oldest profession?

Memoirs of a Geisha, an adaptation of Arthur Golden’s bestseller, follows the travails of a young girl, Chiyo, from her impoverished childhood near the sea to being a geisha legend. Chiyo (Suzuka Ogho) and her sister are sold off when their parents could not afford to bring them up.

She was working as a slave in the geisha household of Mother (Kaori Momoi) when she has a chance encounter with the Chairman (Watanabe). The young girl with eyes "that had water in them" was enamoured by the kind gentleman who made her smile. But she couldn’t do anything about it. Until one day when Mameha (Yeoh), a famous geisha, comes up with a proposal to take Chiyo (now grown up and played by Zhang) under her wings. Chiyo is renamed Saiyuri and her journey begins towards geisha-hood.

Michelle Yeoh and Ken Watanabe have come up with amazingly restrained performances. Yeoh, in particular, is a delight as the seasoned geisha who cares for the sprightly young girl in whose eyes she sees greatness.

The ‘special appearance by Gong Li’ that we see on the posters is an insult to the great actress. As the rival geisha, Hatsumono, Gong Li is simply superb. She is the one carrying the film and is a marvellous foil to the younger actress. She makes you hate her for her bitchiness, but also pity her for her life.

The last time I saw an actress and said "beauty like this is a sin" was when I saw a fiery young warrior in search of her destiny. I say it again. And guess what, it is the same actress. Ziyi Zhang matches her fragile looks with a credible performance. Her character, despite being the heroine, is not very fleshed out, but still Ziyi brings life to it.

Memoirs of a Geisha (the film, at least) is nothing but a mushy love story. It is a movie of epic proportions, but it does not become an epic simply because the story is not strong enough. The screenplay tries to compress too much into two-and-a-half hours that the last quarter is too rushed, too contrived and too much of a letdown. The change in pace is very evident.

Rob Marshal (Chicago) has done a fabulous job in visualising early 20th century Japan and cinematographer Dion Beebe has given him the assistance to bring it to us. John Williams’ score is both haunting and soothing. The art and visual departments have come together in such a way as to arrest our eyes.

Make no mistake, visually, Memoirs of a Geisha is as lush a period piece as they come. Beyond that it’s just Mills and Boon. To understand the nuances of that time and culture you need at least a 144-episode series, not a 144-minute film, Until then you can tell me as many times a geisha is not a prostitute, but you cannot convince me.

Drat! The Fat Cat is Back

Film: Garfield 2
Cast Bill Murray, Breckin Meyer, Jennifer Love Hewitt
Director: Tim Hill

A wise guy of a friend once told me, "How would you feel if I told you I don’t like Calvin and Hobbes?" I almost choked. As words failed me, staring incredulously was all I could do. The wise guy goes on: "That’s how I feel when you keep telling me you don’t like Garfield." Oops, the secret is out! Non-Garfield worshipper in the house. But seriously, how can you compare Garfield with Calvin and Hobbes? Before this comic argument assumes Asterix vs Tintin proportions (we all know Asterix is far better), let us turn to Garfield 2, the movie.

When they decided to make another of those comic strips into a live action movie two years ago fans would have groaned. How could they get a cat actor that looks anything like the greediest cat in the world? The makers went in for CGI, and bad CGI at that, too. But largely due to the vocal talents of Bill Murray in the title role, the movie made enough money to warrant a sequel. Groan!

The incredibly dumb Jon (played with utmost boredom by Breckin Meyer) decides to follow his girlfriend Liz (the cute Hewitt trying to look too cute and ending up as not) to London. Garfield, and that insult to caninedom, Odie, hide in the baggage. In the Queen’s land, Prince (Tim Curry), the pet of a late insanely rich lady, inherits her entire estate. The evil nephew Lord Dargis (Billy Connolly doing a terrible version of John Cleese) wants Prince to meet the God of Cats as soon as possible so he can get the moolah. Garfield and Prince accidentally switch places. And the movie drags along as only one with two terribly fat cats can.

Bill Murray tries his best to keep this madhouse afloat, but even he sounds bored. It doesn’t help when his co-actors together cook up the blandest possible dish. None of comic creator Jim Davis’ acerbic wit (you have to give credit where it’s due) is on display.

As for me I’ll get away from here as fast as possible and try to think up how to take Rs 4,700 from the family kitty without the wife knowing and buy the complete collection of Calvin and Hobbes. Maybe I should take her to see Garfield 2. She might end up becoming a Calvin fan.

Firewall Compromised

Film: Firewall
Cast: Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen
Director: Richard Loncraine

If you are 63, but still have enough charisma to pull audiences to the cinemas and your name is not Arnold Schwarzenegger, then your fans are not going to expect you to beat up guys a third of your age. Why doesn’t Harrison Ford think so?

For three-quarters of the length of Firewall you are happy to be there. It is an intelligent thriller. (Okay, as intelligent as Matrix was philosophical.) But still it doesn’t tire you, even though it expects you to believe that elaborate bank security systems can be fooled with the hard drive of an I-pod and a few pieces of your neighbourhood fax machine. Then Ford gets physical and you want your money back.

Jack Stanfield (Ford) is a digital security chief at a bank who finds his family held hostage by an unscrupulous “businessman” Paul Cox (Bettany). Cox wants Jack to use his hi-tech skills to rob his bank and transfer the money to overseas accounts. How can Jack with the help of his secretary Janet (Mary Lynn Rajskub) outwit the bad guys and at the same time ensure the safety of his family?

Harrison Ford is efficient as always. So, for most part Jack Stanfield is a very believable character. Paul Bettany is very good. Thank goodness he loses his cool a few times, otherwise people would have rooted for him in the end. So cool is he. The rest of the characters just make up the background.

Joe Forte’s screenplay is good enough to keep you riveted for most of the time. The music is peppy and the tempo is too fast to last. Director Richard Loncraine tries valiantly to give you a good time until studio demands hamper him. Why can’t they let smart films remain smart?

My advice: The moment Jack gets the upper hand get out of the theatre. You would have gotten enough value for your money, especially if you haven’t seen the trailer before.

Until Death Does Them All Apart, Again

Film: Final Destination 3
Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Ryan Merriman
Director: James Wong

All of us have cheated at some point or other of our lives. It is just the severity that varies. But how about the ultimate cheat? No, I’m not talking about putting one over Bill Gates. How about cheating death? This rather unique (or hilarious, depending on your point of view) scenario was the saddle on which Final Destination and its sequel piggybacked to cult success. And since horror is the in thing nowadays, FD 3 has landed.

One of the reasons for the success of the FD movies was that they refused to take them too seriously. Blood is there, as is gore, and a few jumps, but overriding all this is a sly sense of humour, black humour if you will. Bodies keep pilling up but it is the ways in which the victims die that catch our eyes. It is almost as if the writers are thinking in terms of ‘How much more outrageous can I make the killings’ rather than ‘How much scarier can I make them’. And they get away with it.

Our heroine Wendy (Winstead) and her friend Kevin (Merriman) follow a set of clues in the shape of photographs at an amusement park to find out where Mr Death was going to strike next. Of course, just when they reach there the victim is gruesomely taken away. So, do they finally cheat death?

Since the actors are all relatively unknown, we are not distracted from the main narrative. Both Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Ryan Merriman are easy on the eye and not terrible actors. What more do you need? James Wong, the director of FD 1 returns and with Glen Morgan has written the screenplay. They have not let the fans down. The special effects are pretty good, considering this is not a big budget spectacular. Snappy editing will keep you on your toes.

If you are the kind who enjoyed FD 1 and FD 2 then FD 3 is unlikely to disappoint. Others, take it with a large pinch of salt and a few jumps. FD 3 does not take your intellect too seriously. Then there is no reason why you should take the film so. Now that mutual lack of respect is understood, who knows, you might even find it funny.

Fast, Furious, Forgettable

Film: The Fast and The Furious- Tokyo Drift
Cast: Lucas Black, Nathalie Kellie
Director: Justin Lin

Like most things American the craze for cars, too, has permeated the globe. The difference being few other countries can afford such a fascination. So they make do with second hand experiences like watching the Fast and the Furious movies.

Few gave it a chance when the original Fast and the Furious came out with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. But apparently it and the sequel made enough money to warrant a third in the franchise.

Sean Boswell (Black) is still in school but has a serious driving problem. After demolishing a construction site, he gets an ultimatum: Leave the country or go to jail. He lands up in Tokyo to set up shack with his estranged father. Within a day at his new school he gets the eye of the pretty Neela (Kellie), the buddyhood of Twinkie (Bow Wow), the ire of DK (Brian Tee), and the trust of Han (Sung Kang). Let the madness begin.

Lucas Black has a nice smile. Period. Nathalie Kellie looks more Indian than Preity Zinta. The only Indian connection she may have is with the Peruvian Indians. No one in the movie has bothered going to acting classes, just like their predecessors. Japanese legend Sonny Chiba (last seen in Kill Bill) deigned to show his presence here. We will never know why.

The only thing fresh in Tokyo Drift is the location. Keeping with the global audience getting out of the States was a smart move. Otherwise, scantily clad girls, the flashy cars, the mad races and the awful crashes are still there. If you like all these, you might enjoy the movie. I don’t, so I didn’t.

A Stone Not Worth Romancing

Film: The Family Stone
Cast: Sarah Jessica Parker, Diane Keaton, Luke Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Claire Danes, Dermot Mulroney
Director: Thomas Bezucha

Isn’t it strange that all three English movies released this weekend haven something to do with ‘stone’? This one is Family Stone, Basic Instinct 2 has Sharon Stone and Zathura means Stone in Swahili. (Just kidding!) And at least the first two have all the feelings we associate with a stone: cold, impersonal, uninteresting. Is this the season for boredom or what?

The Family Stone follows the fortunes of a family, rather predictably, over a three-day period culminating in Christmas Day. Everett (Mulroney), the eldest of the Stone children is bringing his girlfriend Meredith (Parker) to meet his folks. The cultured Meredith does not go well with the happy-go-lucky family. Kelly (Craig T Nelson) tries to be a bit civil, but he is overpowered by his wife, Sybil (Keaton), and daughter, Amy (Rachel), who want to sink in their claws into Meredith from the word go. While elder sister Susan (Elizabeth Reaser) and deaf and gay younger brother Thad (Tyrone Giordano), tolerate her, it is left to Ben (Wilson) to make her feel a little less out of place.

The beleaguered Meredith calls for reinforcements in the form of her sister Julie (Danes). Add in Brad (Paul Schneider) who had a cherry business with Amy a long time ago, and you have a Christmas which is spelt the same way disaster is.
The basic problem with Family Stone is it straddles genres. Any movie which does that has to be extremely good to succeed. Family Stone is not. Beginning as a nice family drama, it suddenly decides to change tracks to become a screwball comedy. In between it has doses of abstract dialogue that will go above the heads of its designated audience. Director Thomas Bezucha’s script tries to be funny, sad, poignant and half a dozen other things and ends up being nothing.

It is unfortunate that a film such as this should have such a well-known cast. Sarah Jessica Parker does not have to try too hard to be the annoying Meredith. Neither does Claire Danes, but she hardly has any screen time. Dermot Mulroney and Luke Wilson act cute and that’s about it. Veterans Diane Keaton and Craig T Nelson are efficient as always. The very-much-in-the-news Rachel McAdams has the best role and she is a delight.

Family Stone would have been a decent feel-good Christmas film if it wanted to. Or it could have been an all-out screwball romp. Too bad it tries to be everything. This is stale fare. As cold and uninteresting as a stone.

Bay is Back, and No Different At All

Film: Transformer: Dark of the Moon
Cast: Peter Cullen, Shia Lebeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Frances McDormand, Leonard Nimoy, John Malkovich,
Director: Michael Bay

"And now, " screamed the announcer, "to perform exclusively for you, here is the Limca Book of Records holder, Robot Ganesh." And to the bafflement of a movie audience, a topless man completely covered in silver paint walked in front of the screen. He then proceeded to 'perform'. His act was a medley of robot-like steps to a soundtrack that was a collection of electronic noises. When it ended, my feelings were:

1. It was audacious. To expect people to come and see a guy enacting clichéd robot-like steps and nothing more takes balls.
2. It was too long. Cut by half it would have been interesting, at least
3. There was no structure, just an assortment of steps without any purpose.
4. The guy was in perfect physical shape. His muscles were rippled without seeming on steroids.
5. Other than the robot connection, I could see no reason for the show to exist before a movie.

The four letters F-R-E-E in that order are intoxicating. So much so, that I, of all people, went for a 3D screening of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (or TF3, as I prefer to call it), because I got free tickets!

TF3 begins with a digitally created JFK, an impersonation of Obama and a very real presence of Buzz Aldrin. If that didn't get you, here comes the 'plot'. It seems the space race was actually something else. (The conspiracy theorists were right, after all!) Aliens had crashed on the moon and we had to find what they were up to. Then follows the antics of Sentinal Prime (Nimoy), the Einstein of the Autobots (who are giant robots), Optimus Prime (Cullen) and his ragtag bunch (also giant robots) and villanous Megatron (Hugo Weaving). You guessed it right, also a giant robot!

In the middle is Sam Witwicky (LeBeouf), a born loser who continues to get into more trouble than he can handle, and gets lucky with more hot females than we can fathom, illusion of cinema notwithstanding. He manages to save the world for the third time, despite screwing up with his new flame Carly (Huntington), being screwed around by new boss Bruce (Malkovich) and getting his screws torn apart by a Secret Agent superboss Mearing (McDormand). Yes, this is that kind of movie.

Director Michael Bay is consistent. He doesn't care about clarity, restraint or silence. He goes all out to give his audience what he believes to be the best bang for their buck. And as his record show, a lot of earthlings agree with him. He goes the same route with TF3. With a lot of help from his screenwriters, he delivers a vaguely half-decent movie. I am actually praising Bay here!

I have always believed the lack of story and surplus of noise deprived the Transformers series of a genuine plus - its visual effects. For a movie that is almost completely effect-oriented, you never get a feeling of falseness looking at the screen. And the 3D here, actually works in the traditional, crowd-pleasing sense. There are lots of objects hurtling towards you. If only the glasses were more comfortable.

Of all the new additions in this adventure, Frances McDormand has the meatiest role, and she delightfully hams away. Malcovich, well, I’d like to see his cheque. You can deny Megan Fox the last ounce of her acting talent, but you have to admit she has that 'it' factor. She'd stand apart even with giant robots. Rosie Huntington-Whitely may fill in her Victoria's Secrets, but her entire performance can be summed up in the context of a single shot. Things are blowing up and shrapnel is flying around in super slow motion. In the middle stands Rosie with a face devoid of all expression, staring through us into the distance. Deep down, I suspect Michael Bay is on Team Megan.

TF3, however famous its brand name is, cannot succeed as a populist movie unless it had at least one old-fashioned, larger-than-life hero. Thankfully, it has one. And that is Shia LeBeouf. Haha! Got you there, didn't I? The real hero is the gigantic Optimus Prime. The clear, soothing baritone of Peter Cullen has a lot of admirers, including she with whom I share a bed. Once again he brings a sense of gravity, a calm amidst the chaos, the only goosebump moments. They should have chucked Shia and stuck with Optimus.

Finally, when the credits rolled and I was standing in an ungodly queue to return my glasses, my thoughts were:

1. The franchise is audacious. It still believes it can attract an audience to see giant robots bashing each other. And it will.
2. It was too long.
3. It had no narrative structure. Just a lot of explosions threaded together.
4. The movie looks good on a superficial level. Michael Bay flexes his blockbuster muscles and delivers what is expected of him. Not more.
5. Apart from being a huge money spinner, I still do not see any reason for Transformers to exist as a movie.

Deconstructing Woody

I had no idea who or what Woody Allen was.

My first initiation came during schooldays through that awesome newspaper - Indian Express. One of their Sunday cartoon strips was something called Inside Woody Allen. It was based on this thin, bespectacled, neurotic, diffident, angst-ridden, Jewish mini basketcase. Of course, at that time I didn't know most of those words! But I still was able to grasp some of the not-so-subtle parts of the humour. Inside Woody Allen was not as simple, and hence, as funny as Bringing Up Father But I still preferred it to the supremely unfunny Peanuts.

The years passed by and to my surprise I discovered that Woody Allen was an actual person. The nonexistence of Internet and a healthy lack of too much curiosity made me not investigate further. Later on, in college, I found that he was an actor and a director. Which was a big surprise, as in small-town Kerala where I came from, I was pretty much an expert on Hollywood movies (ah, the arrogance, the impertinence!). And I had never seen any of Woody's movies, nor even heard of them. I promised myself I would watch them and judge them myself. I have made a lot of promises to myself.

Anyway, time passed. The idea of Woody became more important than the movies of Woody. I saw a couple of his films in passing. Nothing more. I am now in a point of my life where I am acutely aware of my mortality. Something Woody has been screaming from the rooftops, it seems! And so, I am embarking on my great project. See all Woody Allen movies. Review them. Share my opinions.

Join me as I go on my journey of Deconstructing Woody. I don't know when and if I will complete it. But I'll be damned if I don't give it a shot!

Play it again, Woody. This time, for only my sake.

The Death of the Movie Theatre

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/75-abandoned-theaters-from-around-the-usa

Oscar Predictions 2011

It's less than 12 hours to the Oscars, and this is the late-est I have been with my predictions. So, without much further ado here's my list. I am not adding much by the way of comments as I am going to publish another post in a few days about what I feel was the best in each category. But I need to see a few more movies to do that.

This, on the other hand, is my predictions of who will win, based on my experience as an Oscar-watcher over the years, and also my extremely questionable inside knowledge of the industry!

And the Oscar goes to...

Best Motion Picture of the Year
The Social Network

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo for The Fighter

Best Achievement in Directing
David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
The King's Speech: David Seidler

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Toy Story 3: Lee Unkrich

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Hævnen: Susanne Bier (Denmark)

Best Achievement in Cinematography
True Grit: Roger Deakins

Best Achievement in Editing
127 Hours: Jon Harris

Best Achievement in Art Direction
Inception: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland: Colleen Atwood

Best Achievement in Makeup
The Wolfman: Rick Baker, Dave Elsey

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
Tangled: Alan Menken, Glenn Slater("I See the Light")

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
Inception: Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Inception: Richard King

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Inception: Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin

Best Documentary, Features
Exit Through the Gift Shop: Banksy, Jaimie D'Cruz

Best Documentary, Short Subjects
Poster Girl: Sara Nesson, Mitchell Block

Best Short Film, Animated
Day & Night: Teddy Newton

Best Short Film, Live Action
Wish 143: Ian Barnes, Samantha Waite

Golden Globes 2011 - My Pics

The silly season has already begun. Tom, Dick and Harry and their mistresses have started handing out accolades in the hope of getting a few inches of spotlight. David Fincher and Co have started graciously accepting them as part of a well-oiled (but not perfected) lobbying procedure. Destination: Oscar.

The Golden Globes have the second-biggest coverage. Not because of any artistic merit, but as a result of a carefully thought-out nomination procedure that ensures star wattage. And the Golden Globes are where we begin the prediction game. A few of us take part in an two-part annual exercise wherein we predict the winners at the Golden Balls and Golden Nude awards. We battle it out for doughnuts. Or virtual doughnuts, if you may; as the losers don't always pay up!

I go on a limb and offer my first predictions.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

The Social Network

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Best Director - Motion Picture

David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Burlesque : Diane Warren ("You Haven't Seen The Last of Me")

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Animated Film

Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film

Biutiful: (Mexico/Spain)

Best Television Series - Drama

The Walking Dead

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Glee

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

Idris Elba for "Luther"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Claire Danes for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Matthew Morrison for "Glee"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama

Steve Buscemi for "Boardwalk Empire"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Elisabeth Moss for "Mad Men"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

David Strathairn for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Jane Lynch for "Glee"