Bay is Back, and No Different At All

Film: Transformer: Dark of the Moon
Cast: Peter Cullen, Shia Lebeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Frances McDormand, Leonard Nimoy, John Malkovich,
Director: Michael Bay

"And now, " screamed the announcer, "to perform exclusively for you, here is the Limca Book of Records holder, Robot Ganesh." And to the bafflement of a movie audience, a topless man completely covered in silver paint walked in front of the screen. He then proceeded to 'perform'. His act was a medley of robot-like steps to a soundtrack that was a collection of electronic noises. When it ended, my feelings were:

1. It was audacious. To expect people to come and see a guy enacting clichéd robot-like steps and nothing more takes balls.
2. It was too long. Cut by half it would have been interesting, at least
3. There was no structure, just an assortment of steps without any purpose.
4. The guy was in perfect physical shape. His muscles were rippled without seeming on steroids.
5. Other than the robot connection, I could see no reason for the show to exist before a movie.

The four letters F-R-E-E in that order are intoxicating. So much so, that I, of all people, went for a 3D screening of Transformers: Dark of the Moon (or TF3, as I prefer to call it), because I got free tickets!

TF3 begins with a digitally created JFK, an impersonation of Obama and a very real presence of Buzz Aldrin. If that didn't get you, here comes the 'plot'. It seems the space race was actually something else. (The conspiracy theorists were right, after all!) Aliens had crashed on the moon and we had to find what they were up to. Then follows the antics of Sentinal Prime (Nimoy), the Einstein of the Autobots (who are giant robots), Optimus Prime (Cullen) and his ragtag bunch (also giant robots) and villanous Megatron (Hugo Weaving). You guessed it right, also a giant robot!

In the middle is Sam Witwicky (LeBeouf), a born loser who continues to get into more trouble than he can handle, and gets lucky with more hot females than we can fathom, illusion of cinema notwithstanding. He manages to save the world for the third time, despite screwing up with his new flame Carly (Huntington), being screwed around by new boss Bruce (Malkovich) and getting his screws torn apart by a Secret Agent superboss Mearing (McDormand). Yes, this is that kind of movie.

Director Michael Bay is consistent. He doesn't care about clarity, restraint or silence. He goes all out to give his audience what he believes to be the best bang for their buck. And as his record show, a lot of earthlings agree with him. He goes the same route with TF3. With a lot of help from his screenwriters, he delivers a vaguely half-decent movie. I am actually praising Bay here!

I have always believed the lack of story and surplus of noise deprived the Transformers series of a genuine plus - its visual effects. For a movie that is almost completely effect-oriented, you never get a feeling of falseness looking at the screen. And the 3D here, actually works in the traditional, crowd-pleasing sense. There are lots of objects hurtling towards you. If only the glasses were more comfortable.

Of all the new additions in this adventure, Frances McDormand has the meatiest role, and she delightfully hams away. Malcovich, well, I’d like to see his cheque. You can deny Megan Fox the last ounce of her acting talent, but you have to admit she has that 'it' factor. She'd stand apart even with giant robots. Rosie Huntington-Whitely may fill in her Victoria's Secrets, but her entire performance can be summed up in the context of a single shot. Things are blowing up and shrapnel is flying around in super slow motion. In the middle stands Rosie with a face devoid of all expression, staring through us into the distance. Deep down, I suspect Michael Bay is on Team Megan.

TF3, however famous its brand name is, cannot succeed as a populist movie unless it had at least one old-fashioned, larger-than-life hero. Thankfully, it has one. And that is Shia LeBeouf. Haha! Got you there, didn't I? The real hero is the gigantic Optimus Prime. The clear, soothing baritone of Peter Cullen has a lot of admirers, including she with whom I share a bed. Once again he brings a sense of gravity, a calm amidst the chaos, the only goosebump moments. They should have chucked Shia and stuck with Optimus.

Finally, when the credits rolled and I was standing in an ungodly queue to return my glasses, my thoughts were:

1. The franchise is audacious. It still believes it can attract an audience to see giant robots bashing each other. And it will.
2. It was too long.
3. It had no narrative structure. Just a lot of explosions threaded together.
4. The movie looks good on a superficial level. Michael Bay flexes his blockbuster muscles and delivers what is expected of him. Not more.
5. Apart from being a huge money spinner, I still do not see any reason for Transformers to exist as a movie.

Deconstructing Woody

I had no idea who or what Woody Allen was.

My first initiation came during schooldays through that awesome newspaper - Indian Express. One of their Sunday cartoon strips was something called Inside Woody Allen. It was based on this thin, bespectacled, neurotic, diffident, angst-ridden, Jewish mini basketcase. Of course, at that time I didn't know most of those words! But I still was able to grasp some of the not-so-subtle parts of the humour. Inside Woody Allen was not as simple, and hence, as funny as Bringing Up Father But I still preferred it to the supremely unfunny Peanuts.

The years passed by and to my surprise I discovered that Woody Allen was an actual person. The nonexistence of Internet and a healthy lack of too much curiosity made me not investigate further. Later on, in college, I found that he was an actor and a director. Which was a big surprise, as in small-town Kerala where I came from, I was pretty much an expert on Hollywood movies (ah, the arrogance, the impertinence!). And I had never seen any of Woody's movies, nor even heard of them. I promised myself I would watch them and judge them myself. I have made a lot of promises to myself.

Anyway, time passed. The idea of Woody became more important than the movies of Woody. I saw a couple of his films in passing. Nothing more. I am now in a point of my life where I am acutely aware of my mortality. Something Woody has been screaming from the rooftops, it seems! And so, I am embarking on my great project. See all Woody Allen movies. Review them. Share my opinions.

Join me as I go on my journey of Deconstructing Woody. I don't know when and if I will complete it. But I'll be damned if I don't give it a shot!

Play it again, Woody. This time, for only my sake.

The Death of the Movie Theatre

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/75-abandoned-theaters-from-around-the-usa

Oscar Predictions 2011

It's less than 12 hours to the Oscars, and this is the late-est I have been with my predictions. So, without much further ado here's my list. I am not adding much by the way of comments as I am going to publish another post in a few days about what I feel was the best in each category. But I need to see a few more movies to do that.

This, on the other hand, is my predictions of who will win, based on my experience as an Oscar-watcher over the years, and also my extremely questionable inside knowledge of the industry!

And the Oscar goes to...

Best Motion Picture of the Year
The Social Network

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Melissa Leo for The Fighter

Best Achievement in Directing
David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
The King's Speech: David Seidler

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
The Social Network: Aaron Sorkin

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Toy Story 3: Lee Unkrich

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Hævnen: Susanne Bier (Denmark)

Best Achievement in Cinematography
True Grit: Roger Deakins

Best Achievement in Editing
127 Hours: Jon Harris

Best Achievement in Art Direction
Inception: Guy Hendrix Dyas, Larry Dias, Douglas A. Mowat

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Alice in Wonderland: Colleen Atwood

Best Achievement in Makeup
The Wolfman: Rick Baker, Dave Elsey

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
Tangled: Alan Menken, Glenn Slater("I See the Light")

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
Inception: Lora Hirschberg, Gary Rizzo, Ed Novick

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Inception: Richard King

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Inception: Chris Corbould, Andrew Lockley, Pete Bebb, Paul J. Franklin

Best Documentary, Features
Exit Through the Gift Shop: Banksy, Jaimie D'Cruz

Best Documentary, Short Subjects
Poster Girl: Sara Nesson, Mitchell Block

Best Short Film, Animated
Day & Night: Teddy Newton

Best Short Film, Live Action
Wish 143: Ian Barnes, Samantha Waite

Golden Globes 2011 - My Pics

The silly season has already begun. Tom, Dick and Harry and their mistresses have started handing out accolades in the hope of getting a few inches of spotlight. David Fincher and Co have started graciously accepting them as part of a well-oiled (but not perfected) lobbying procedure. Destination: Oscar.

The Golden Globes have the second-biggest coverage. Not because of any artistic merit, but as a result of a carefully thought-out nomination procedure that ensures star wattage. And the Golden Globes are where we begin the prediction game. A few of us take part in an two-part annual exercise wherein we predict the winners at the Golden Balls and Golden Nude awards. We battle it out for doughnuts. Or virtual doughnuts, if you may; as the losers don't always pay up!

I go on a limb and offer my first predictions.

Best Motion Picture - Drama

The Social Network

Best Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Drama

Colin Firth for The King's Speech

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Drama

Natalie Portman for Black Swan

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Johnny Depp for Alice in Wonderland

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy

Annette Bening for The Kids Are All Right

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Christian Bale for The Fighter

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture

Jacki Weaver for Animal Kingdom

Best Director - Motion Picture

David Fincher for The Social Network

Best Screenplay - Motion Picture

Aaron Sorkin for The Social Network

Best Original Song - Motion Picture

Burlesque : Diane Warren ("You Haven't Seen The Last of Me")

Best Original Score - Motion Picture

The Social Network: Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Best Animated Film

Toy Story 3

Best Foreign Language Film

Biutiful: (Mexico/Spain)

Best Television Series - Drama

The Walking Dead

Best Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Glee

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television

Idris Elba for "Luther"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television
Claire Danes for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Matthew Morrison for "Glee"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy

Edie Falco for "Nurse Jackie"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Drama

Steve Buscemi for "Boardwalk Empire"

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series - Drama

Elisabeth Moss for "Mad Men"

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

David Strathairn for Temple Grandin

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television

Jane Lynch for "Glee"

Changing the Perception of Entertainment

Film: Inception
Cast: Leonardo Di Caprio, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Lewitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy
Director: Christopher Nolan

Words are the cornerstones of human communication. Words define feelings, release emotions and convey thoughts. Words can sometimes be the definition of human intelligence. The history of words can very well be the history of the civilisation that begat them. Most words in languages we speak were created aeons ago. But there are also words that are coined everyday. We will discuss one of them.

A dear friend of mine saw a movie and declared that she had been satisfactorily mind-fucked. Smart-ass that I am, there was an immediate masochist retort. But then, I hadn’t seen Inception yet.

Inception is an idea. An idea that germinated in Christopher Nolan. One so personal he didn’t want his brother and regular co-writer, Jonathan, to share it. An idea so outrageous that you just cannot believe it. But one that’s compulsively addictive.

Within two minutes of the curtain raising, the main character has already declared that he can interfere with people’s dreams. Before that even sinks in you are dragged into a maze that never seems like unravelling. Like a video game with its many levels Inception takes you to dreams within dreams and then some more. And to keep track is not exactly the simplest thing in the world.

Which takes us back to our word. Inception is a total mindfuck. It messes with our dull minds. Dulled by years of manufactured movies, confected according to a formula that may have worked one time, served cold and bland like a Chicken Ham sandwich. It forces you to invest your 148 minutes in the Bank of Nolan and delivers a payday that dwarves the national lottery. It makes you think about the movie, while watching it and even afterwards. What a crime against popular cinema!

Do not look for deep messages and subtle nuances. Inception is entertainment. Period. Sure, it transcends what has been put out as entertainment. But to give it more credit is to take away credit away from the intentions of Christopher Nolan, who is a regular man of the masses. He just believes the masses have brains. And has been proving himself right, repeatedly.

The argument about what Inception is all about will rage for a while. I believe it is an elaborate con. Inception, in the movie, refers to placing an idea deep within someone’s subconscious in a way that it seems like an original thought for that person. Nolan is doing that with us. The first poster for the movie had the line: "the dream is real". I was not taken it. But did that lessen my enjoyment of the movie? Not a bit.

Placing the idea of the movie inside us, during the movie; making us agonise over it, while trying to keep pace; drawing us into a maze, after declaring it is a maze. Imagine the conceit of the man. Imagine the confidence of the man. Imagine his bloody grin when he sees we fell for it. And yet, we are grateful to him. That is the achievement called Inception.

It’s hard to believe that Leonardo Di Caprio was once a heartthrob. His roles show he wanted to sink that with Titanic. He may not possess Johnny Depp’s gift for the quirky, but he has enough ability to acquit himself quite creditably in whatever he chooses to do. But, unlike Depp, Leo makes you watch the movie, and not the histrionics. He inhabits the tortured soul that is Dom Cobb and makes you believe that even you would have made the choices Cobb makes, however wrong they may be. It is a powerful leading performance that never once feels so.

The supporting cast is a dream. (Sorry!) Marion Cotillard, arguably the most beautiful actress working in Hollywood now, simply excels. Hers is the role that, you will come out of the theatre saying, could be done by none other. Fanboy favourite Joseph Gordon-Lewitt abandons his indie cred to immerse himself in this massive studio undertaking. He makes himself at home. Plus he looks fabulous. Tom Hardy does not run away with the movie, as many expected. His is the steady, but not showy, performance. The lovely Ellen Page pretends to be the only ordinary person among the sea of stars. She succeeds.

We have an Indian presence that is not perfunctory. Dileep Rao has a meaty role and there’s nothing vegetarian about him. Where have you been all this while, my friend? Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy and Michael Caine hold up their ends with poise and confidence.

Inception is a visual extravaganza. It assaults your senses with such calculated precision that you see the extraordinary vision of a master aided by the best in the technical fields. Wally Pfister’s cinematography conveys grandeur in every frame. Hans Zimmer’s score is epic-sounding, but not very memorable to untrained ears. It serves the purpose but goes no further. The visual effects are many and varied. Believe me, once you see Paris in this movie, you never want to see it any other way.

As an action film Inception excels. The snow-bound fortress sequence is pure Bond, while the zero-gravity fight scene betters The Matrix. But these sequences never feel like set pieces. They are fluid and serve the larger purpose of all-round entertainment.

The million-dollar question is how the film will fare against The Dark Knight. I have a definite answer. It trumps the earlier film in every way. One was an exploration of how much one could do in a genre that does not lend itself to serious filmmaking; the other is a master-class in transcending genres. Inception harks back to a time when movies were created, not assembly-lined. It takes entertainment to levels that are beyond the video game. Entertainment meant stoking the superficial senses. Inception fucks with your mind.

I dedicate this review to my friend. Here’s to the hope that we get our minds fucked again. Paraphrasing husbands everywhere, "We don’t get it often enough".

Alice, through Burton's Looking Glass

Film: Alice in Wonderland
Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway,
Director: Tim Burton

Among other things, Alice in Wonderland is often described by conspiracy theorists as the ultimate drug trip. Lewis Carroll definitely was "off" with his head somewhere else! Tim Burton is known for his distinctive visual style and his ability to tell any story as a fable. When he announced his take on Alice, with alter ego Johnny Depp in tow, many a geek the world over wet his pants in delight.

This is a slightly older Alice. On her engagement day, Alice (Wasikowska) follows a White Rabbit (Michael Sheen) and falls down a hole. She changes sizes, meets assorted weirdos and has curious adventures, all the while convinced she is dreaming. But there is a twist in the tale. Something is not quite right with Wonderland. The evil Red Queen (Bonham Carter) is the ruler, having exiled her sister, the White Queen (Hathaway). The poor subjects find their heads being offed at rather short notice.

To sort out matters and slay the terrible creature, the Jabberwocky (the great Christopher Lee in his shortest role), a champion must rise, a champion called Alice, or so the prophecy goes. While most people, including Alice, are not convinced, one man refuses to believe otherwise. He is the Mad Hatter (Depp). The saga begins.

Johnny Depp has precious little to do but add to his list of weird roles. Anne Hathaway and Helena Bonham Carter are required to overact. The former falls flat, all flutter and floss The latter runs away with the movie, deadpanning to brilliant effect. Stephen Fry and Alan Rickman showcase their vocal talents as the Cheshire Cat and the Blue Caterpillar. Mia Wasikowska does have unusual looks, but her acting chops are not called to action here.

Alice is Burton at his most accessible – dazzling us with his visual imagery, while not bothering about subtexts or secondary meanings. The Burton of old may have gone AWOL, but the success of Alice may give him the freedom to return to his quirky roots.

All said and done, Alice in Wonderland should come with a warning. The heady mixture of Carroll and Burton may not awaken the grey cells, but it delights the eyes enough to make young minds reach out for those drugs!